In this day and age danger lurks around every corner. Unlike the best selling author of Lame Adventures, Virginia Antonelli, who lives in the heart of Gotham City, we don’t have superheroes bouncing off every building looking for someone to save. In fact pickings are so slim we had to settle for a second-hand, spandex-and-cape-clad crusader called Stuporman.
He means well (bless his heart), but on most of his rescue missions the victims wind up saving him from the villain. Stuporman is not totally incompetent. He can fasten the velcro closures on his boots by himself and gets his mask on straight part of the time.
After being begged for three whole seconds, Stuporman graciously consented to a phone interview by What’s So Funny? special correspondent, Rachel Crofton.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the producer of this fine program is Baba Wawa Wisoff-Fields (try saying that 3 times real fast). To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To read stories by other FFF authors click here.
Rachel Crofton: What inspired you to become a superhero?
Stuporman: I’ve always loved the feel of spandex, wearing a cape, and the thought of having a secret identity.
RC: Did you have a mentor, or role model, who influenced your career?
SM: As a child, I worshiped Liberace. At fourteen, I attended a Prince concert and it changed my life.
RC: Uh . . . those are entertainers. What does that have to do with fighting crime?
SM: My super-power is my voice, Rachel. When I break into song, villains curl into a fetal position, cover their ears, and beg for mercy.
RC: What is the biggest challenge superheroes face today?
SM: Finding a dressing room. Phone booths are a thing of the past, leaving porta-potties as the only option. Last week my mask fell into the toilet and . . . .
RC: Gross! I don’t want to hear the details. Just tell us why they call you Stuporman.
SM: Because I confuse and astound evil villains—I stupefy them.
RC: Evidently, it works on reporters too.