Who ya gonna call?

In this day and age danger lurks around every corner. Unlike the best selling author of Lame Adventures,  Virginia Antonelli, who lives in the heart of Gotham City, we don’t have superheroes bouncing off every building looking for someone to save. In fact pickings are so slim we had to settle for a second-hand, spandex-and-cape-clad crusader called Stuporman.

He means well (bless his heart), but on most of his rescue missions the victims wind up saving him from the villain. Stuporman is not totally incompetent. He can fasten the velcro closures on his boots by himself and gets his mask on straight part of the time.

After being begged for three whole seconds, Stuporman graciously consented to a phone interview by What’s So Funny? special correspondent, Rachel Crofton.

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the producer of this fine program is Baba Wawa Wisoff-Fields (try saying that 3 times real fast). To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To read stories by other FFF authors click here.

photo copyright Danny Bowman
photo copyright Danny Bowman

Rachel Crofton: What inspired you to become a superhero?

Stuporman: I’ve always loved the feel of spandex, wearing a cape, and the thought of having a secret identity.

RC: Did you have a mentor, or role model, who influenced your career?

SM: As a child, I worshiped Liberace. At fourteen, I attended a Prince concert and it changed my life.

RC: Uh . . . those are entertainers. What does that have to do with fighting crime?

SM: My super-power is my voice, Rachel. When I break into song, villains curl into a fetal position, cover their ears, and beg for mercy.

RC: What is the biggest challenge superheroes face today?

SM: Finding a dressing room. Phone booths are a thing of the past, leaving porta-potties as the only option. Last week my mask fell into the toilet and . . . .

RC: Gross! I don’t want to hear the details. Just tell us why they call you Stuporman.

SM: Because I confuse and astound evil villains—I stupefy them.

RC: Evidently, it works on reporters too.

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28 Comments on “Who ya gonna call?

  1. Dear Wowie Powie Supah Hewo,
    My tears are making it hard for to type. The image of villains curled up in a fetal position was the beginning of the end for me. My sympathies to Ms. Croft.
    Shawom,
    Baba

    Like

  2. Hahahaha! Russell, you BROUGHT it! Great!

    The outfit of Stuporman — how interesting. The enemy wouldn’t know whether to fight him or go out with him for dinner and dancing.

    Like

  3. I eagerly await to see what Russell will produce for our edification each week and what name he will think up for Baba Wawa; I am never disappointed. We need a few more Stupormen in the world.

    Like

  4. Russell I m not sure whether I like the story or the introduction part more ! Hilarious 😀 I tried repeating the tongue twister thrice .. Quite twisty 😉

    Like

  5. I look forward to seeing the film version of Stuporman, Russell, just to see this guy burst out of a Port-o-san wearing a soggy mask and belting show tunes.

    Thanks for the shout out. My little tome is Tai Chi-ing it’s way up Amazon’s Best Sellers list at #251,637. Look out world!

    Like

  6. Ohh, this is hilarious! Reminds me of a super hero I created many years ago called SuperJerk! Oh, man, can’t stop laughing…The image is too vivid! By the way, I think I’m married to Stuporman. At least, voice wise.

    Like

  7. That was just cute. A cute take on the idea of where the hell are superheroes going to change their clothes if there are no more phone boxes???? The sad demise of phone boxes is regrettable. So this story only made me smile and now I am sad and missing the phone boxes…

    Like

  8. Haha. I can always count on you for a great laugh. What a creative take and loved the line about the mask falling in the toilet. Good stuff.

    Like

  9. Sounds like you’re way up for the new Superman movie, as well as the new Liberace movie too. Okay, here’s hoping between the two of them the Man of Steel for you is the one from Krypton.

    “What’s the biggest challenge facing Superheroes? Finding a dressing room. Phone booths are a thing of the past, leaving porta-potties as the only option. Last week my mask fell into the toilet and . . . ” Great lines this week! UP, UP, AND AWAY!

    Like

  10. LOL Russell! For as impressive as Stuporman isn’t, we must remember that he puts his spandex leotards on one leg at a time (I’m assuming). Sure it’s velcro simplified but it still takes agility up the yin yang getting everything tugged up inside a portapottie! That in and of itself makes him Aces in my comic book!

    This was Super Enjoyable! 😀

    Like

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