I used to work with a guy who was born and raised in Puerto Rico. He told me the hardest thing about learning the English language was the metaphors and euphemisms we Americans use in everyday conversation. When I mentioned that I was going to “pitch a loaf” he wrongly assumed it had something to do with bread.
Today’s story features a disagreement which threatens to dissolve a long-standing relationship between one of nature’s most famous couples.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Queen Bee of our hive is the famous therapist Dr. Ruth “Whadda talkin’ bout” Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF “Hollywood Squares” author seating chart click here.
We interrupt normal blog programing to bring you the latest in the Sex Education labor strike.
Negotiations have broken down. The Bees are forming picket lines outside Bird headquarters to protest their stand on In vitro fertilization.
“This is an unnatural act and flies in the face of everything we’ve taught young people for generations,” buzzed Bee spokesperson, Honie.
“There’s nothing wrong with an egg outside the body,” countered Cindy Cardinal. “Why should it matter where fertilization takes place?”
In response, angry bees are constructing a wall of hexagonal wax cells to launch armed drones across enemy lines.
Film at eleven.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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