Yes, it’s true. Connie and I are being flown to California to film a testimonial commercial for AARP Hartford Auto Insurance.
This unusual chain of events began as a result of our collision with a pedestrian deer on the evening of January 20, 2015. Even though the deer was clearly at fault (not crossing at a designated deer crossing, leaving the scene of a motor vehicle accident, and possibly drunk on fermented deer corn), we still had to bear the burden of having our car fixed.
Not long after our vehicle was repaired, I received an email from The Hartford asking if we would share a testimonial of our claims experience. I submitted the details of the incident and it was selected from a large group of entrants (possibly more than four) as a finalist in their contest.
After a series of emails, phone calls, and ogling our Christmas Card photos, they jumped at the chance to fly us to Hollywood and put us up in a twelve bedroom condo next door to the Drysdale place (rumor has it a family named Clampett used to live there).
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Producer/Director of epic mini-adventures is Cecilia B. DeMille Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
The poor little peeve appeared scrawny and malnourished when Cain first brought him home. It was so cute to watch the two of them play, Cain stretching on tippy-toes to turn on every light in the house.
Our electric meter spun like a roulette wheel on steroids. When Father saw the utility bill he blew a fuse. After a brief family meeting, it was decided “Leave the Light On” had to go.
The president of a motel chain dispatched some fellow named Tom to pick up the peeve. Apparently, it’s worked out well for both of them. Tom and “Leave the Light On” have become inseparable.
The 106 words above are a much-edited excerpt from “Peeves I Love to Pet,” which you can read in it’s entirety between the covers of The Perils of Heavy Thinking. For those of you abroad, this is a parody of a long-running series of Motel 6 ads in which their spokesman, Tom Bodett, promises, “We’ll Leave the Light On for You.”
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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