Philadelphia: – While the national news media is blathering about the resignation of Democratic Party Chair Debbie Wassermann Schultz, the issue causing the most division within the party is how to wear the Political Protective Cup.
The Sanders supporters insist the cup should be worn over the lower extremities to provide protection against Republican low-ball tactics, while those in the Clinton camp recommend covering the right ear to guard against the fear & hate propaganda directed at Democrats.
The one thing both factions agree upon however, is that Donald Trump should wear his cup firmly over his mouth. According to one delegate, the only problem seems to be finding a cup large enough to cover such an orifice.
*Our Arkansas correspondent is covering the convention this week from the safety and comfort of his easy chair. If you wish to contact him, you may do so by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.