Adventures in Camping

Let’s talk about bumper stickers. Either you love ‘em or hate ‘em, right? I like them best when they’re on the back of someone else’s car. One of my favorites reads; “The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful.”

Other popular options brag about how “Terrific” their kid is or feature images of stick families complete with the pet of their choice. I’m still waiting for one that says; “Free tire wash. Call Fido at Bow-Wow-Whiz.” What are some of your favorites?

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Icon of 100-word stories is “Tie-Dye” Tootsie Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly collage of madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a box in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Danny Bowman

“You’ll never guess what I found today,” said Connie. That sentence always made me nervous. It could mean a stray animal or a portal to another dimension.

“Uh . . . let me guess,” I stammered. “A leprechaun with a pot of gold?”

“Even better than that. We now own a tent. The lady I got it from said they bought it new at Sears. It’s a Hillary*.”

Now, I’ve known people who referred to Bill Clinton’s wife as an old bag, but any canvas tabernacle named after her would more likely be sold at Saks Fifth Avenue than Sears.

* Hillary is a brand of tent named after Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to reach the summit of Mt. Eveready. From what I hear, the guy just kept going and going . . .

Today’s post is an excerpt from “The Great American Camping Trip.”

53 Comments on “Adventures in Camping

  1. Dear Tribbles,

    I have to wonder what the companion tent would be. The term phallic symbol comes to mind. Just saying. On the other hand, does the Hillary tent come in purple? Have fun camping.

    Live Long and Prosper,

    Tie-Dye Tootsie W(T)F

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Tie-Dye Tootsie W(T)F,

      I suspect a true “Hillary” tent could hold a three-ring circus. There would be politicians to the left, politicians to the right, and hapless voters in the center ring. I think a purple Hillary would look lovely (a pant suit, I suppose). Think I’ll just hang out backstage will Bill.


      Liked by 2 people

    • She was tough and could take a beating, that’s for sure.
      I see less bumper stickers than I used to, but they’re still out there blinding our eyeballs.


  2. “You’ll never guess what I’ve found today.” Now there’s a sentence I hear from my husband quite a bit. Whether it’s a bargain he found at a garage sale, auction, or something shiny he spotted on the side of the road, he’s always finding something. He’s found a good deal on a tent before, but it wasn’t a Hillary. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha! You got me. I never thought of “Sir” Hillary for a moment. I suppose things could’ve been worse. She could’ve got a tent called, “Monica.” Whenever those tents get stains they never wash out… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A portal to another dimension sounds like just the ticket right now. Far better than a Hillary tent or a Trumpmobile anyway. See you in the underground shelter…


  5. Ah! This was fantastic. As a trekker, my first thought went towards the first (or second) man to conquer Everest, but where’s the fun in reading a story about Sir Edmund? Thanks for the chuckle, Russell. Cheers

    Liked by 1 person

    • All I’ve ever climbed is a couple of mole hills, but they were pretty steep and almost ten centimeters tall. I had a nosebleed from the altitude once I reached the summit. I think we still have the photos somewhere of me planting the flag, if you’d like to see them.


  6. People in Australia are so fond of tailgating, I am thinking of getting a bumper sticker for my car with “STOP KISSING MY ASS, YOU ASS-KISSER” I hope I don’t get booked for using foul language.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I assume an Ass-Kisser is what we call a Tail-Gaiter. Those folks who like to ride on your rear bumper and who would be in your back seat if you had to tap the brakes. Someone should invent a force field that keeps them at least four car lengths back.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ahhh those bumper stickers… like you, I prefer them on OTHER cars…
    As for the tent, I ain’t even going there…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The previous owner was probably happy to hand the tent over to your wife — didn’t want to be identified with a defeated politician, I’m guessing. Oh, the fickle finger of favor; when it dumps you it dumps you. You’ll have a great time camping, watching the stars go out one by one. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Hillary tent was still a big improvement over the Al Gore variety, not to mention the John McCain/Sarah Palin two-room tent flop, known as “You Betcha.” The only advantage that one offered was being able to see Vladimir Putin’s house from your camp site.

      Liked by 1 person

      • If another “Honest Abe” Lincoln would step forward and run for US President, how far would he get in the primaries, etc? I’m wondering if you folks have developed a liking for media circus tents? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • Abe wouldn’t make it past the first round. Today’s candidate has to be a showman, a performer. Most voters don’t even bother to read the paper or watch TV, unless it’s a channel that puts the “right slant” on the candidates. I had one guy tell me that he’s a single-issue voter – gun rights. No one wants real substance, just something shiny that looks good on the shelf.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Maybe you need another JFK. In spite of the initial furor, “A Catholic President? Never!” he seemed to fit the bill for a lot of people. When this whole thing of Clinton’s flings came out, it amazed me — and still does — how the media of that time sat on juicy stories about JFK’s affairs—that J Edgar H said were a threat to national security. Hope you’ll pardon this non-Yank’s observation, but I think there was a respect for the Office of the President back then that just doesn’t exist now.
        I also wonder if President Trump underestimated the power of the media when he started campaigning and decided to run contrary to their wishes? “The pen is mightier than the sword” was never so true. If the media damns you, you’re toast. When even a million-dollar gift to hurricane victims is ridiculed, what more can you do?


  9. LOL. I think a leprechaun with a pot of gold would have been a more fun find, if less practical.


  10. When this unanimous matter of Clinton’s flings came out, it astonied me — and still does — how the media of that meter sat on juicy stories about JFK’s affairs—that J Edgar H said were a threat to national security.
    I also wonder if President Trump underestimated the business leader of the media when he started electioneering and decided to trial perverse to their wishes?


  11. We’re having our own election circus right now, but thankfully that is boring and normal and far from sensationalist. I prefer boring to fake gold or purple tents. 🙂


  12. When this solid affair of Clinton’s flings came out, it stunned me — and still does — how the media of that cadence sat on juicy stories about JFK’s affairs—that J Edgar H said were a threat to national security system. When this unanimous matter of Clinton’s flings came out, it astonied me — and still does — how the media of that cadence sat on juicy stories about JFK’s affairs—that J Edgar H said were a threat to national security system.


  13. “stray animal to portal to another dimension ” :’)
    Reminded me of a cousin of mine who will eat anythinf and everything. You can find the whole range you mentioned in his mouth… 😀
    Nice write. Had to chuckle. 🙂


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