California Scheming

Have you ever taken a long cut–as opposed to a shortcut? What I’m referring to is driving around the world to get across the street. Some people call it “taking the scenic route,” or offer the excuse of avoiding heavy traffic, toll roads, or fear of getting stuck in a Presidential Motorcade. The goal is to ignore the shortest, fastest, most efficient route to your destination.

My wife, Connie, really enjoys doing this. In fact, her motto is, “If there’s a back road–take it!” As an experienced yard sale fanatic, she knows every side street, alley, and dead-end cul de sac in our portion of North America. We’re never truly lost, just not always sure where the road we’re on is going to take us.

Tell me about a time when taking an alternate route led to an adventure.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the person who wrote from Kansas City to Hollywood with a laptop on her knee is Old Suzanna Danna Anna Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Susannah Clementine Wisoff-Fields
copyright – Susannah Clementine Wisoff-Fields
Look! Up in the bird. It’s the sky. It’s a plane. It’s Dyslexia Man.
Slower than a mentally challenged sloth wading through molasses.
Weaker than single-ply bath tissue.
Unable to infuse short sentences with a single noun.
Yes, it’s Dyslexia Man, backwards visitor from the hills of Arkansas who came to Bloggywood with the power and ability to render the English language incomprehensible. Dyslexia Man, who can alter the meaning of common phrases, blend two-syllable words into inaudible gibberish. And who, disguised as Enos “Skin” Flint, half-witted blogger for Friday Flash Fiction, fights a never ending battle for humor, foolishness and the Redneck way.
_________________________________________________
We can only hope our hero’s arch enemy and lifelong nemesis, Grammar Girl, will stop by to save us from the twisted vernacular and nonsensical jabbering of Dyslexia Man. Please hurry, Grammar Girl!

26 Comments on “California Scheming

    • Of all the female superheroes, Grammar Girl has to be the most ruthless. She has a dictionary under one arm and a thesaurus under the other to go along with her English degree. She can spot a dangling participle at 50 yards.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Cute stuff and enjoyed the read. When we get a little lost or temporarily disoriented, one of us always says, “Oh, wonderful. We’re going on an adventure.” 🙂 The movie, Grand Canyon comes to mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Dyslexia Man,

    Oh how I’d enjoy traveling the back roads with Connie! Laptop on my knee. ;)What can I say? I came. I read. I laughed.

    Shalom,

    Old Suzanna Danna Anna W(T)F

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Old Suzanna Danna Anna W(T)F,

      I’m sure you’ve found many backroads on your 2020 North America tour. I imagine they sold purple t-shirts at all your public appearances. And I’m confident you collected a whole suitcase of Do-Not-Remove tags along the way.

      Happy Trails,
      Dyslexia Man

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I loved road trips but haven’t for a long time since back surgery.
    Sitting can be difficult. I’ll travel with you on those back roads of adventure.
    I think this could possibly another language. Why Not?
    Have a wonderful week … Be Safe
    Isadora 😎

    Like

  4. You’re always offered that scenic route aren’t you? We discovered my mother had high blood pressure after she screamed all the way down a mountain on one trip. Not fun. —- Suzanne

    Like

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