What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
The Troll House
Happy New Year! Football bowl season is in full swing. In an effort to attract a new generation of customers, Depends and AARP have partnered to sponsor the American Incontinence Bowl. The game will be played in Leaky Bladder, Texas and features the Arizona Arthritics versus the Minnesota Memory Loss.
Expect the action to be slow with timeouts after every two plays to allow the participants (and fans) plenty of bathroom breaks. The Charmin Blue Bears will perform at halftime (or nap time) with a special tribute to bath tissue icon Mr. George Whipple.
If this is your first Friday Flash Fiction bowl game, our referee, a graduate of the Helen Keller School of Umpiring, is Megan Magoo Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
In 1969, the Keebler elves began marketing cookies, crackers, and other treats manufactured in their magical hollow tree. Due to Keebler’s popularity and success, other vertically-challenged folklore creatures such as leprechauns, smurfs, and fairies have entered the baked goods market.
Not to be outdone, a curly-haired entrepreneur from the Midwest recently opened her own factory under the name Troll House Treats.
The products are made from all-natural ingredients and claim to be high in fiber. These include Chocolate Covered Rabbit Raisins and Deer Dropping Troll House Cookies. Those with more adventurous taste may want to try her Malted Mothball Mints.
11 Comments on “The Troll House”
Leave a reply to Violet Lentz Cancel reply
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
Hi Russell! So good to see you! Hilarious post!
I’ve never been a football fan but perhaps footbowl might be more interesting. After reading about these new baked goods, I’ll stick to plain dark chocolate. 😀
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Sticking to dark chocolate is not a bad idea. I hear the Malted Mothball Mints give you heartburn.
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Hard pass. Ew.
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Hard pass? Sounds like you may be constipated. The Deer Dropping Troll House Cookies might loosen you up.
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Hey Russell! Just letting you know that I will be playing and a proud member (I think???) of the Minnesota Memory Loss team. 😉
Great to read you again! Happy New Year to you and yours!
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I had a clever response to you comment but now I . . . Is this my blog? Where’s my coffee? I need to pee.
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Yummy. Just be careful of the dwarf bread which, as Terry Pratchett told us, is less a foodstuff than a weapon of war
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Dysentery is a terrible way to die. However, the little troll gets very upset when people shun her baked goods.
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So clever! I can’t decide if I like the lead in or the story better!
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Thanks, Violet. I always try to give the reader more than they paid for.
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Dear Dudley Dimwit,
You seem vaguely familiar. Have we met? Nothing compares to Troll House Cookies. They’re great to package in one’s invisible box and take to the bowl games. And don’t we all enjoy the go? Oooh Yeeeah. Cheers and Happy New Year to my favorite chucklehead.
Shalom,
Megan Magoo W(T)F
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