Redneck Mythology

 

Did you ever wonder why there were no mythological Gods of Redneck Folklore? Neither did I.
Then I saw this wonderful picture(copyright Lura Helms)and I said to myself, “That explains it!”
I’m sure a bunch of ya’ll are gonna leave comments thanking me for enlightening you on Redneck Mythology. I won’t be able to respond right away as I am on the road this weekend, but don’t worry, I promise to visit your blogs as soon as I return.  I appreciate you stopping by.
To read more stories, go to   http://madison-woods.com/  click on the Blog tab, and follow the links.
 
 
Redneck Mythology
 
 
 
Billy Bob was half goat/half man. We won’t go into his genealogical lineage, but suffice it to say, his kinfolks are regulars on Dr. Phil.
 
One day, Billy Bob was peeping over the fork of ash tree spying on three beautiful young nymphs skinny dipping. Little did he know that this particular tree was a Venus Fly Ash.
 
His Mom saw him and cried out, “Billy Bob, pull your head out of that ash!” But the tree snapped shut on Billy’s head.
 
The moral of the story is; “When you’re doing something naughty; don’t stick your head up an ash.”
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21 Comments on “Redneck Mythology

  1. This is great redneck Misterology (asa opposed to Mythology). And, you know what they say: "ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if you don't look, your peepers rust."Enjoyed it, Randy

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  2. Oh my gosh, I howled so loud my family ran to my door to see what was going on! This is one of my favorite stories EVER! Well done. Off to wipe my eyes.

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  3. Yikes, a redneck fable with a pun a mile wide! Nice job. Here's a virtual pork chop wrapped in bacon with a biscuit and gravy for you.cheers,Loreleihttp://westcoastwriters.blogspot.com/2012/08/fridayfictioneers-fork.html

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  4. Another witty one. I love the reference to Dr. Phil. I've seen those rednecks on his show…reason I no longer watch. lol. A great way to begin the weekend. Enjoy your trip. I'm #30

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  5. Dear Russell,Redneck Mythology is a fitting story for you to depart to your destination on. I think you're on to something here, or just plain on something. Whichever it is I'm sure you're headed for celebrity, either as a fancy pants author or from your picture gracing Post Office walls.Enjoy your time away, read the fine print and know that you ARE funny. (Just not the way you think:)Aloha,Doughttp://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/love-pays-the-butchers-bill/

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  6. Russell, your clever humor never ceases to amaze me. I'd love to crawl into your brain and see how it comes up with these stories. :)–Janhttp://janmorrill.wordpress.com/2012/08/17/fridayfictioneers-flashfiction-passages/

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  7. Venus Fly Ash. Too darn funny…..Thanks for the education in RN Mythology. I feel edified and ready for the day.Poor Billy Bob Goat.

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  8. Problem with your little parable is that there's nothing naughty about spying on naked nymphs skinny dipping. Hell, that's what naked nymphs are for. In my younger days I might even have joined them but, sadly, those days are long gone. Nowadays, even my own wife declines to see my skinny-ness dip anywhere!

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