Le plane, le pain

Remember those thrilling days of yesteryear when you could actually sprint through an airport like O.J. Simpson in those Hertz commercials? This is before he’d killed anyone—except those who died from over exposure to poor acting in “Naked Gun.”

And who can forget that classic movie, “Airplane?” It’s still hard to believe the Academy passed over Lloyd Bridges for Best Supporting Actor. The writing was amazing. Remember this line, “I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it, Kramer?” (-Striker)

Our flight attendant for this week’s journey across the friendly skies of Friday Flash Fiction is the lovely and talented, Ruth Ann Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate, in this weekly exercise in madness, visit her blog, http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/ after which, scroll down to the blue I n links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs.

copyright-Rich Voza
copyright-Rich Voza

 “It was supposed to be a joke.”

“Well, it wasn’t funny to me.”

“I never dreamed they’d take it that far.”

“What did you expect, Ken? They work for the government. They have no sense of humor. Now we’ve missed our plane.”

“But it was just a couple of metal ink pens.”

“A couple? They counted fifteen. One in every pocket and open seam of my overcoat. After the metal detector went off the third time, I knew I was in trouble.”

“I feel bad about the full-cavity search, Barb.”

“Don’t worry. When I’m able to straighten up, you’ll get yours.”


32 Comments on “Le plane, le pain

  1. Love the title, Boss! (Or is that Rich? It’s so confusing.) Airports are not sites for humor these days, especially this sort. I think Ken’s in trouble!

    As usual, lots of fun,



  2. Dear Rong-way,
    If they can’t take a joke the heck with them. Barbie and Ken must be getting up there in years by now. Thanks for the comic relief…fun as always.
    Ruth Ann


    • Yes, Barbie turned fifty not too long ago. I think she’s had several surgeries to sustain her youthful appearance. They’ve been doing a lot more traveling since joining AARP.


  3. Wow, Russell, count the references non-Boomers won’t get: De plane, de plane; OJ running through airports;Lloyd Bridges; Barbie; Ken; only 1 cavity (search) reminds me of Crest Toothpaste. You are a treasure trove of treasured memories! Fun piece as always.


  4. Dear Russell,

    People are confusing you with other people, aren’t they? Your intro was every bit as good as your story. Was I him, I’d get on a flight and never come back. Well done. (In order to start work for the TSA you have to have your funny bone removed so that career change you were considering should be re-thought.)




  5. Ah, the glory days of air travel. It was luxurious by comparison to today’s cattle car, stockyard ramp experience. Full body search. Yep, he will be paying dearly…..


  6. I had decided it would have something to do with saying the “B” word. Those guys at the airport are not very happy when someone tries to test their skill or their will. I wonder if the most trouble for Ken comes from the TSA or the WIFE?


  7. I had my third, I think, WTF Moment (meaning, “Wow, That’s Fantastic!”). Hard to believe I live in a day where a cavity was what you went to the dentist for …
    Keep writing this stuff, man!


  8. Lovely. I hope she’s not too rough with him later, but it’s no more than he deserves. Poor Barb.


  9. Meant to get over here a helluva lot sooner. All great quotes that I think would also look lovely in Latin and placed outside the entrance to one’s home. My personal favorite is: “I guess the foot’s on the other hand now, isn’t it, Kramer?”


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Mandie Hines Author

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