Lily Livered Limbo

It is not uncommon for teenagers to experiment with alcohol before reaching the legal drinking age. In fact, many of the backwoods hillbillies I ran with skipped the test tube and beaker steps completely and went straight to the consumption phase in their quest for scientific knowledge.

*One note of caution; when conducting these experiments it’s a good idea to have one person remain sober to serve as the “control sample.” This breathing petri dish is responsible for documenting the behavioral changes among the test group and ensuring that all members of the panel make it home safely.

This week’s photo from Lora Mitchell shows just how far young people will go to satisfy their cravings for alcohol. If you are new to Friday Flash Fictions, the Dean of our College of Contributors is Professor Raphaella Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate, in this weekly exercise in madness, visit her blog, after which, scroll down to the blue In links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs.

copyright Lora Mitchell
copyright Lora Mitchell

Underage drinking has reached epidemic proportions in today’s society. Teens can be very resourceful when acquiring alcohol.

“We’ve always kept our liquor cabinet locked,” said one mother. “When I found the bottles under Cindy’s bed, I questioned her, but she refused to reveal her sources. My husband set up a video camera. This is what we found.”

“I feel horrible,” said Cindy’s father. “Here I was blaming Hugo, the neighbor’s St. Bernard, when all along it was Lily sneaking booze to our kid. She betrayed our trust. It was like being stabbed in the back with a plant food spike.”


31 Comments on “Lily Livered Limbo

  1. makes me wonder if you were thinking of time when you were “under the influence”-just kidding-thats what I tell my kids about todays “cartoons” sobeer people dont think like that-very creative!


  2. Dear Rudyard,
    You should be locked up….for making me groan. The pot comment should’ve been worked into the story. To the back of the bus and give Clarabell back his seltzer bottle. Funny stuff as usual.


    • Yes, Ma’am. You’re right as usual. I didn’t think to include the pot until Bjorn’s comment. Maybe Perry will sneak us in a couple of beers.


  3. Russell,
    I think I want some of what your smoking…I’ll talk to Lily about it! LMAO! You out did yourself this week!


  4. Everyone always tries to blame the dog. But it is never the dog, just like you can never assume it is always the butler.


    • When you run around with a small keg attached to your collar folks are going to jump to that conclusion, but it could be buttermilk–NOT!


  5. Hi Russell,
    A rainy Sunday afternoon and I’m finally getting to your story. Glad these parents finally go to the root of the problem. Many drinking problems stem from the inabiility to leaf it alone. Perhaps she should branch out to other drugs. Fun and funny story. Ron


  6. Okay, I couldn’t resist reading just one more tonight. LOL Russell, you really are a sick puppy 🙂


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