blunder grill

Evidently, the average American television viewer is enthralled by all things Redneck. The satellite airwaves are filled with reality shows of southern folks wrestlin’ gators, whittling duck calls, and surviving months in the wilderness on two cans of potted meat, eight ounce of grits, and a fifth of rot-gut whiskey.

Those with necks of other colors (including blue-bloods) are fascinated by the determination, ingenuity, and bathing habits of the simple-minded Redneck.  Have you ever wondered why there are no shows featuring Yankees doing dumb stuff?  That’s because they lack the creative flair and daredevil attitude to start a sentence with, “Hold my beer while I . . .”

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the head chef in charge of menu creations is Sunny-Side -Up Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF “Menu of Authors” click here.

copyright - Dawn M. Miller
copyright – Dawn M. Miller

Bubba got elected to congress on the Aginner ticket, vowing to oppose any legislation involving change.

Celeste came to Washington in pursuit of wealth. She was young, beautiful, educated, and most of all—willing. Her part-time job at the Union Station gift shop paid only a pittance, but provided exposure to potential Sugar Daddies.

Two bites into his Cowboy Burger, Bubba saw a young woman clutch her throat, gasping for air. He rushed over and applied the famous hind-lick maneuver. An olive shot from the throat of the startled girl.

It was a life changing event for both of them.

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With college football season starting this weekend you’ll need plenty of food.

Here’s something that’s sure to be a hit at your tailgate party.

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22 thoughts on “blunder grill

  1. Hi Russell,
    I think not only are us Southerners backwards, ignert, and inbred, we’re also proud of it. I don’t see much humility on all those redneck reality shows. I think your story this week may have been an actual bio-epic on Bill Clinton. I’d right more, but my lunch of potted meat and bbq vienny sausages is in the trough. Ron

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  2. The two strippers at my bachelor party did the hind lick on each other while the boys caught the ping pong balls. Good stuff. Yankee’s do stupid things like move down south….LOL

    All good.

    Tom

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  3. Dear Russell,

    I loved your story, intro and all and the Bare Nekked Chef vid too. You have captured the spirit of the south in your writing. Do you know the Heineken maneuver? (I don’t know, looks like he’s chokin’. Guess I’ll have me another beer.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

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  4. Dear Bubba,

    The video left me speechless, if not nauseated. I feel like I’ve just been to Arkansas where many family trees don’t fork. Funny stuff as always. I’m never disappointed. Think I’ll go get me a beer.

    Shalom y’all,

    Sunny-Side-Up

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  5. I agree with Doug – your entire set up gives a richness to the story and makes the key maneuver (the hind- lick!) have even greater impact on the reader. Almost like getting hit square in the eye with a gin soaked olive.

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  6. oh god, i hope i never choke infront of that guy. that’s a first meeting they’ll never forget, a story to tell the grandkids ^^ hilarious, as always 🙂

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