blunder grill

Evidently, the average American television viewer is enthralled by all things Redneck. The satellite airwaves are filled with reality shows of southern folks wrestlin’ gators, whittling duck calls, and surviving months in the wilderness on two cans of potted meat, eight ounce of grits, and a fifth of rot-gut whiskey.

Those with necks of other colors (including blue-bloods) are fascinated by the determination, ingenuity, and bathing habits of the simple-minded Redneck.  Have you ever wondered why there are no shows featuring Yankees doing dumb stuff?  That’s because they lack the creative flair and daredevil attitude to start a sentence with, “Hold my beer while I . . .”

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the head chef in charge of menu creations is Sunny-Side -Up Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF “Menu of Authors” click here.

copyright - Dawn M. Miller
copyright – Dawn M. Miller

Bubba got elected to congress on the Aginner ticket, vowing to oppose any legislation involving change.

Celeste came to Washington in pursuit of wealth. She was young, beautiful, educated, and most of all—willing. Her part-time job at the Union Station gift shop paid only a pittance, but provided exposure to potential Sugar Daddies.

Two bites into his Cowboy Burger, Bubba saw a young woman clutch her throat, gasping for air. He rushed over and applied the famous hind-lick maneuver. An olive shot from the throat of the startled girl.

It was a life changing event for both of them.

_________________________________________________________________________

With college football season starting this weekend you’ll need plenty of food.

Here’s something that’s sure to be a hit at your tailgate party.

Advertisements

22 Comments on “blunder grill

  1. Wish the video showed Bubba’s “hind-lick” martini olive dislodging maneuver instead. Now I need to scarf a roll of Tums just looking at bologna bowls.

    Like

    • This is a PG rated blog, so you’ll have to use your imagination. I just wish I’d been there to hold his beer while he performed the procedure.

      Like

  2. Hi Russell,
    I think not only are us Southerners backwards, ignert, and inbred, we’re also proud of it. I don’t see much humility on all those redneck reality shows. I think your story this week may have been an actual bio-epic on Bill Clinton. I’d right more, but my lunch of potted meat and bbq vienny sausages is in the trough. Ron

    Like

  3. Great story, and the recipe is priceless! How the heck did he discover that bologna will curl up like that? Forget it, I don’t want to know….

    Like

  4. ‘..hind-lick maneuver.’ – such a great image, but I’m glad I didn’t have to witness it. I hope these two will be very happy together.

    Like

  5. The two strippers at my bachelor party did the hind lick on each other while the boys caught the ping pong balls. Good stuff. Yankee’s do stupid things like move down south….LOL

    All good.

    Tom

    Like

  6. Dear Russell,

    I loved your story, intro and all and the Bare Nekked Chef vid too. You have captured the spirit of the south in your writing. Do you know the Heineken maneuver? (I don’t know, looks like he’s chokin’. Guess I’ll have me another beer.)

    Aloha,

    Doug

    Like

  7. Dear Bubba,

    The video left me speechless, if not nauseated. I feel like I’ve just been to Arkansas where many family trees don’t fork. Funny stuff as always. I’m never disappointed. Think I’ll go get me a beer.

    Shalom y’all,

    Sunny-Side-Up

    Like

  8. I agree with Doug – your entire set up gives a richness to the story and makes the key maneuver (the hind- lick!) have even greater impact on the reader. Almost like getting hit square in the eye with a gin soaked olive.

    Like

  9. oh god, i hope i never choke infront of that guy. that’s a first meeting they’ll never forget, a story to tell the grandkids ^^ hilarious, as always 🙂

    Like

I'd love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

Mandie Hines Author

Horror, Psychological Thrillers, Flash Fiction, and Poetry

The Phantom Rem

Stories From Within

Lorna's Voice

Finding ways to make words sparkle

The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose

This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.

Sharing sarcasm, snark, and satire with the world...

Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Problems With Infinity

Confessions of a Delusional Maniac

ParkInkSpot

I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.

TheDustSeason

All the Blogging That's Fit To Print

www.immodiumabuser.com

AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.

Dimitris Melicertes

I don't write, I touch without touching.

Lame Adventures

A Humor Blog

Linda Vernon Humor

Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind

TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND

Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!

Lori Ericson, Author

An author's perspective of mystery and more.

The Best Things in Life

And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.

%d bloggers like this: