What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
More Than One Way
I just got back from spending four days wandering the hills of Madison County (Booger County according to the internet). While there, I spent a lot of time sitting on a rock with a rifle draped across my knees. This was to give any passers-by (including wildlife) the indication that I was deer hunting, when in fact, I was busy writing my next New York Times bestseller, “More Than One Way to Skin a Skunk.”
Not only do I plan to release this on Kindle, but there will also be a first-of-its-kind specially scented hard copy version available for those of you who want to experience the world’s first olfactory thriller. Just look for the black cover with a white stripe down the spine.
This week at Friday Flash Fiction, we celebrate the one year anniversary of Trixie Wisoff-Fields taking over as bus driver. She’s done a good job keeping it between the ditches and dealing with the ne’er do wells in the back of the bus. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here
Rocky loved polka. He’d seen a blonde-haired northern girl on TV with a squeeze box on her chest and immediately fell in love.
“Tennessee hill folks don’t cotton much to that racket. Getcha a mandolin and play bluegrass,” advised his Pa.
Still, Rocky couldn’t get the in-an-out image of the squeeze box out of his mind. “I’ve got to have me one of them accordions,” he declared. None being available, he attached a keyboard to an old blacksmith’s billows.
On stage, he stuck out like somebody wearing shoes at a cow patty stomping contest. But the crowd went berserk when Rocky played The Moonshine Barrel Polka.
30 Comments on “More Than One Way”
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What's So Funny? 
Of course, this story is all accordion to you! Are you going to OWL in Nov.? I’m going to make a guest appearance (Well, I’m going with Rochelle and Kent, and trying to figure out whom I might get to meet.)
I’ll look for the skunk cover. I hope it won’t be dead in the middle of the road!
janet
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I’d love to make it to OWL, but grandson turns 6 on the 15th, so the odds of me making it to Branson are slim. We might come up for the Friday night event as it’s only an hour and a half from home. I’d love to meet you in person!
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Either way, you’ll be having fun.
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Trixie’s sooo disappointed. (
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Too bad YouTube took down that Moonshine Barrel Polka video with all those church ladies bopping with their hymnals. But I appreciate that you illustrated this post with such an inspired alternative you skunk-living rascal.
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I was shattered too, so I had to go with my 2nd choice. Do you have skunks in Central Park? Obviously not as many as Washington D.C., but you’re bound to have a few stinkers.
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Do we have skunks on Manhattan island! Last week a guy standing next to me on a crowded uptown express 2 train reeked of one. Or maybe it was his coat. Or his aftershave.
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/uptown/skunks-rock-heights-article-1.1469007
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We are on the same track this week, Russell, although I haven’t released my story yet. I saw a squeezebox too, not a disassembled keyboard, and wrote accordingly. (accordioningly?) But I think I stick out like someone wearing shoes at a cow patty stomping contest because I don’t have a clue about the Moonshine Barrel Polka. But love the Who here. Or here, Who?
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I love to hear the Who too. I don’t suppose they have much moonshine in Quaker country. By the way, do you live near the guy on the oatmeal box?
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Dear Rocky,
Thanks for the anniversary encouragement. I still have that joy buzzer, but you’ll have to make to OWL at the same time to get it back.
Another gem. Can’t wait for the scent of your bestseller. I have a can of Febreeze at the ready.
Shalom,
Trixie
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PS My nickname at work is “Rocky”
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Dear Russell,
Have you ever noticed how alike yours and Rochelle’s names are? You might be next in the driver’s seat. Then we can call you Trixie.
Great story, Sir. have fun at OWL.
Aloha,
Doug
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No, thanks. I’d have my bus driver license suspended after one week. Just call me Ed Norton.
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I can’t wait for those “specially scented hard copy version” and to “experience the world’s first olfactory thriller”
As usual, i found your introduction so hilarious. 🙂
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Hi Russell,
I’m going to have to side with Pa on this one, even if squeeze and a blonde’s chest does conjure up a pleasant thought. Glad you survived in the woods. It’s open season on hunters and I hear they’re pretty good eating. Taste just like Tyson chicken. Ron
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Who ever told you that is sadly misinformed, Ron. The chickens go through a couple of baths and are very clean. I’m not sure you could wash the smell off most hunters, especially those who catch skunks.
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Pretty funny – although I always hated that image – I won’t go into it now, of the squeeze box. I know it had it roots in Bayou Blues, so that hill billy best be picking up the mandolin, right, white boy? oops, However, your little Who video is a flash from the past…Now, they really were white boys. As far as Ron above is concerned, he’s right, deep fired hunter is pretty good eating! Also, just warmed up and buttered….
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There’s also a song about Buttered Buns, but I won’t go there 🙂
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You’re still squeezing out the laughs, Russell 🙂 cute story!
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Good one! I love this song!
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That’s awesome. That’s one resourceful guy.
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well, i liked that he didn’t mind sticking out like a sore thumb, and in the end, he rocked. also couldn’t help but laugh at the different names you give Rochelle every week ^^
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Oh first bag-pipes and now accordion.. … funny as always, and I’ll get me a copy of that book … great christmas gift for some relatives of mine,,,
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I couldn’t stop laughing, Russell. You’re such a hoot. Trixie now?! I think I remember that one. Your story is really brilliant. I like the keyboard used for the accordion and your dialogue is fabulous. The video was hilarious. I’ve had a good time here at your blog!
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Thanks, Amy. I appreciate the kind words.
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Very entertaining piece, sir.
AnElephant loves it.
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More than one way to skin a skunk? You are a man of many talents, Russell. It should be easy to find that book at Barnes and Noble! Maybe you could play the accordion for us at your book signing.
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A blind man should be able to find that book 🙂 Just don’t judge a book by it’s odor.
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This is the second story I have read that tagged The Who; what’s up with that?
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Russell! Bravo! This was as entertaining and fun as all get out! I really hope your serious about your skunk book! The concept alone would sell millions . . . thousands? Hundreds? A buck forty? And I am a huge Columbo fan and speaking as an expert watcher of the show, Marriet Hartely is a lousy belling dancer.
And finally, attaching a keyboard to a old blacksmith’s bellows is about the smartest thing I ever did hear of!
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