Bored Walk

After repeated problems with our internet air card (AT&T MiFi), we decided to part company. It was an amiable divorce, they kept the money and internet access and we get to stare at a blank screen. Connie is going through Facebook withdrawal and my opportunities to  post, read, and comment on blogs is limited to  what free time I can scrounge up at work during breaks, lunch, before/after normal hours, etc.  Therefore, I apologize for not visiting, reading, and commenting on as many of your blogs as I would like. We are engaged  to a new provider and hope to tie the knot (no gifts, please) as soon as they are able to come and install the equipment.

Yesterday, I received one of those letters that every registered voter hates—the dreaded Jury Duty summons. Names are supposedly drawn at random, but after speaking with other registered voters (most of whom have never served), I have come to the conclusion that I’m exceptionally good at being random since my name gets drawn at regular intervals. Too bad I don’t have the same luck with Powerball tickets.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Lottery Commissioner in charge of selecting weekly photo prompts is Babette “Bingo” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Adam Ickes
copyright – Adam Ickes

Born on the day Ernest Tubb died, Claude knew he was destined to become a country star. He had the boots, the cowboy hat, even the sequined-encrusted, powder-blue jump suit. All he lacked was a decent singing voice.

“When Claude Bawls sings,” one music reviewer wrote, “his vocal tones are reminiscent of a coyote who sat down on a steel trap.”

Claude’s entourage included a couple of bleach-blond, trailer-trash bimbos and his cousin, Leroy. Booked to play a Louisiana swamp family reunion, one of the bimbos constructed a sign from an empty beer carton promoting the event as “The Bored Strait Tour.”




41 Comments on “Bored Walk

  1. You can always be relied on for a laugh, Russell, and you didn’t disappoint this time. And I don’t just mean the 100 word fiction… I do hope your Internet problems are solved very quickly.


  2. Nice the way you slid Claude Bawls in there under the radar. But the joke itself is based on George Strait, right? I don’t really know anything about him, but I think he’s a country singer. I’d rather go see Claude Bawls; I hear he really hops about the stage!


    • I knew you’d love that name, Perry. It sounds more like a porn star name than a country singer, but either way it looks real impressive on the marquee.


      • I think the joke on Geo. Straight is a pick-up line where the guy asks the girl if she likes George Straight. If she says yes, he looks down at his jeans and says, “Ya hear that, George?”


  3. Another winner, Russell. I certainly hope you get internet back . I looked up George Strait after reading Perry’s comment. I used to listen to The Grand Old Opry, and especially like Blue Grass, but missed hearing about George Strait. I hadn’t heard about Claude either, but I guess that’s no surprise.


    • George Strait does western swing (Bob Wills style music) and does it very well. Claude, on the other hand, is a legend in his own mind.


  4. Dear Claude,

    Bored Strait…love it! I’m sure I’ve met your bimbos in my grocery store.
    Sorry about your internet problems. We have Verizon MiFi and I’ve really enjoyed it. I used it a lot over the weekend in our hotel in Fayetteville. Funny thing, though, my husband couldn’t connect on his iPad. He’s anal about everything being password protected and couldn’t remember his password. He played a lot of solitaire while I kept up with Friday Fictioneers…Bingo!




    • My son has Verizon and it works well up on the hill where he lives. We tried it down in the valley and got no reception. the company we’re going with is called DLux Link. Many of our neighbors have it and are satisfied with the signal.


  5. Having heard coyotes, Russell, I can imagine how exciting that reunion was, although the music probably didn’t influence it much one way or the other. Thanks for starting my Friday morning wish a laugh and good luck with your new provider.



  6. The Bored Strait Tour – just loved that.
    Russell your humour never fails to make my day better, thank you.
    Great take on the prompt


  7. Born on the day Ernest Tubb died!! Ha! Now that’s a sign if ever there was one! As soon as I’m done with this comment, I’m going straight over to google and find out who died on the day I was born to make sure I didn’t miss my calling.


    • I think it’s safe to say you did NOT miss your calling, Linda. You’re the funniest blogger west of the Rocky Mountains.


      • We were hoping for April Fool’s Day, but I don’t think we’re going to make it. I’ll be posting about it when I have a firm date.


  8. I have the same problem with jury duty. My name seems to “randomly” come up about every 2 or 3 years. Most people I know have never gotten a single one. The last time for me was number six.


  9. Claude Bawls?lol!Excellent name for the “band”-Bimbos can’t cheat,can they? 😉 Now the guests at that reunion know what they are going to get-such honesty! As always you made me laugh Russel-enjoyed this and I hope that the coming nuptials with the new provider is successful-don’t forget to invite us 😀


  10. Hi Russell,
    I’m pretty sure I saw Clod and his band over at the Cherokee Casino. Half the people there were asleep and the other half were feeding the slots. You may not have to serve on jury doody. I received one of those notices a year or two back, mailed it in and never heard another word. I was heartbroken. ron


  11. Babette Bingo, you’re too much, Russell. Did he find the powder-blue jumpsuit at Goodwill?


      • Oh, man. So close! I’ll keep an eye out at the thrift store, maybe we can find you one yet.


  12. Hey Russell. When did Goshen upgraded to the two tin cans and a string? I’m impressed. Mike (Nan’s husband).


  13. Didn’t Claude write that book called, “Don’t Mess With The Wildcat”? I had no idea he was a country singer (although, we’re still wondering from which country, I’m sure). Hilarious take. I laughed out loud. Still am.

    Sorry I couldn’t make it down to Fayetteville, man. But, we’ll hook up again, though.


I'd love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Mandie Hines Author

Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers

The Phantom Rem

Stories From Within

Lorna's Voice

Finding ways to make words sparkle

The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose

This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.

Sharing sarcasm, snark, and satire with the world...

Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.


I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.


All the Blogging That's Fit To Print


Lame Adventures

A Humor Blog

Linda Vernon Humor

Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind


Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!

Lori Ericson, Author

An author's perspective of mystery and more.

The Best Things in Life

And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.

%d bloggers like this: