Russell Gayer, author speaker
Most people fear Change. Some even prefer to stay in a bad situation rather than take a chance on something new. But in today’s world, Change doesn’t sit around and wait for volunteers, it moves right along whether we get on the bus or cower in the shadows. Aging is a great example.
This weekend, my lovely wife, Connie, will celebrate another anniversary of her 39th birthday. She may not look like the 16 yr. old girl who captured my heart, but inside, she’s more beautiful than ever. The hot temper has cooled over the years and now she just sighs and rolls her eyes when I do something stupid in public.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the person responsible for changing the photo prompts is Susie “Spare Change” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
In fifteen minutes Godzilla had reduced Dr. McGillicutty’s Traveling Medicine Show tent to shreds. All that destruction had given the monster quite a thirst, so he consumed a couple cases of McGillicutty’s Cure-All elixir.
The potion rumbled in his stomach and in fifteen minutes he’d shrank to a small green lizard.
“You fired,” screamed the Japanese director. “Nobody scared of little gecko.”
“My career is ruined,” cried Godzilla, in a thick British accent. “How will I support my family?”
“Don’t worry, Martin,” said the insurance adjuster surveying the damages, “We’ll find you a new job in fifteen minutes or less.”
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For those of you across the pond, Geico Insurance uses a little green gecko as a spokeperson in many of their television ads. Their motto is 15 minutes can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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Love the Geico gecko, darling. Imaginative as always. Happy birthday to Mrs.
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thanks, Helena.
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Give your lovely wife our congratulations on the anniversary of her 39th birthday. I’m sure your sense of humor keeps her young. Another hilarious story. They just spring up one after the other. We have a lot of what are called “house geckos” here. They get in somehow and come in all sizes. Some people here are scared of them. I think they’re funny and I like anything that eats bugs.
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Do they have a British accent? I like anything that eats bugs too.
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If anything (although I’ve never heard them speaking) they’d probably speak Marathi which is the local Indian language. We’re in the state of Maharashtra. Maybe they don’t speak because they’re shy. They tend to hide.
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Well, the first part about your wife made me cry, the second part with the gecko made me laugh. What more could I want in a post!? Thank you for brightening my day : )
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Oh, what a sweet comment. Now you made my day 🙂
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Ha! I wondered where they got the little green limey. Happy b ‘ day to the missus.
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Yes, you might want to avoid drinking that cure-all elixir.
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I think your little green geckos are the US version of our meerkats. Nice one. 🙂
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Now, I’ll have to look those little boogers up.
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The advertising slogan, and the name of the business, is ‘compare the meerkats.com’ (comparethemarket.com). The ads are quite the funniest thing I’ve seen in years.
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I enjoyed this one.
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Lap top-a-mah-bob, that’s class. I think those meerkats should meet with our little gecko. 😉 Sorry to dip. Okay, not really.
Shalom,
Susie SC
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Don’t you just love those meerkats? My favourite is the Jacuzzi one. “Sergei, bubbles!!!” 😀
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That was hilarious!
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That was fun – poor Godzilla
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Dear Russell,
Congratulations on reaching 39 years of wedded bliss. I know, I know, the dictionary leaves out a few definitions of that word, but you know what I mean. It strikes me that having written what you did, that now you’d better watch what you drink for a bit. Women never really stop trying to change their men. Career Change was one of your best stories. I think you ought to get hold of Geico and pitch the idea to them. You never know what could happen.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks, Doug. I could just see Godzilla shrinking. Actually, I think this career change worked out very well for him.
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Actually, Godzilla has a gig with Snickers now. One-shot deal, probably.
Oh, and Happy Birthday, Connie! Had fun meeting you at OWL!
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Dear Dr. McGillicutty,
Please extend my birthday greetings to Connie. I met her and I’m a witness to the fact that she’s a very lovely, if not long-suffering lady. Not to mention that she must have an impeccable sense of humor.
Love the story. I agree with Doug. You should pitch to Geico. Now if we could shrink King Kong…
Shalom,
Susie SC
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I can see him as the new Chiquita Banana sensation. Best comeback with lots of appeal (oh, I shouldn’t have said that — here we go!).
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Barrrump Bump Pish!
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Like i said … here we go.
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Now, I’m seeing flashbacks of the Gong Show
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Well written … oh, not the story, I’m talking about your comments with Connie. She sure is a fine person, and y’all make a great couple.
By the way, the story had me laugh.
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Very funny – and thanks for the explanation at the end – it was funny without it, but funnier with 😀
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Hahahaha! So THAT’S how it all got started, huh? Amazing.
By the way, your last story on me and the DMV came true. I was going through some papers and they needed my driver’s license number. I looked and sure enough, my license had expired five months ago! I didn’t have that long a wait and only had to pay ONE DOLLAR for a late fee. I told the lady I’d not gotten anything in the mail (usually they send you something) but she told me not everybody got mailings this time out. Oh well … needless to say, Rochelle and I had a great laugh over it!
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Well, at least you had all your documentation. Did they use your Avatar photo or take their own picture?
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a very pleasant reprieve from death and destruction. well done. should it be “he’d shrunk” instead of “he’d shrank”?
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You’re right, Rich. Thanks for catching that.
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very welcome.
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Happy birthday to Connie. I enjoyed meeting her, albeit briefly, at OWL last year. But I’m a bit concerned that if she rolls her eyes when you do something, you know, she must not be able to see much when in public. 🙂 I mean, she must really love you. As for the story, I loved it. Perfect last line.
janet
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I’ve always been a little loud and obnoxious 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the story.
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Excellent tale (tail?) telling, Russell. This story belongs on the Geico Gecko’s bio page on Wikipedia. I liked that meerkat commercial, too. I hope you have some plans for the Aflac duck in a future post. And happy birthday to Connie!
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Happy birthday to Connie! I hope you take her somewhere nice for dinner, or shopping…
Thanks for filling us in on how the gecko got his job.
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Good to celebrate a birthday with your loved one… As for the story, I did of course not get it immediately.. But I have a good feeling for Godzilla getting a new job.
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That little gecko has annoyed me from before Godzilla was born. Now I find out he is Godzilla! All your points about change and aging are spot on. Fortunately I am immune to both processes so I only know about all that from what I observe in other people. Funny story and touching reference to your wife too!
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Yes, I find him annoying as well. In fifteen minutes I could . . . .
You ARE the ageless wonder, Perry. Long may your reign.
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Lovely story, although I’ve always liked the thought of Godzilla and am sad that he’s now a gecko! Nice job.
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Just a few minutes ago I saw a Snickers commercial featuring Godzilla. I guess the effects of the snake oil potion didn’t last too long.
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I needed the heads-up on what the small green lizard was (bloody marketeers!). Great little number.
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Oh no,I love Godzilla and he shrank to what-a green gecko-yuck!Am going to mope now after I finish laughing 😀 This is as always totally hilarious Russel,loved it!Please convey my best to your lovely wife Connie and wish her a very happy Birthday:-)
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That ending really made me laugh. I’m looking for a job now; if only it was that easy, although I’m not a talking Gecko, so maybe that’s my problem. Great story, as usual. It really does look like a shredded circus tent.
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Funny story! I’m shocked to know that Godzilla is the Geico gecko. I love Godzilla (for as much as one can love a monster) and despise that gecko. Geico advertises here on the Gulf beaches of Florida by flying an obnoxious banner back and forth. As if seeing that banner while trying to enjoy the beach will prompt anyone to buy insurance. I hope Godzilla finds an antidote. Happy Birthday to your wife!
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Love your story about your Uncle. Sure begins back wonderful memories about my Uncles.
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