Baseball was my first love. As a small boy, I remember evenings spent curled on my Dad’s lap listening to the familiar voices of Harry Carey and Jack Buck on the radio. The St. Louis Cardinals had an awesome team in those days, featuring stars such as Lou Brock, Curt Flood, and future Hall of Famer, Bob Uecker.
I ordered a baseball uniform from Montgomery Ward and would dress-out every afternoon and practice hitting, pitching, and perfecting my hook slide. Desire and determination was my strong suit. I had everything it took to become a major leaguer—except talent. The rest, as they say, is history.
This week, as our relentless leader of FFF takes a much deserved holiday, I’ve decided to pay tribute to those much maligned Boys of Summer. No, not the guys who make millions for playing a kids game, but the Men in Blue who work so hard to protect the integrity of the sport I love and have nothing to show for it but verbal abuse and death threats—the umpires. As always, if you’d like to visit other FFF sites click here.
Have you always wanted to be a baseball star, but could never make the grade? Perhaps you’re slow afoot, dim-witted, or visually impaired. Well, now’s your chance to shine.
At the Helen Keller School of Umpiring College, we can teach you to overcome those challenges. How do we do it? By focusing on the five senses that make a perfect umpire; sound, smell, taste, touch, and fear.
Countless HK-SUC grads have found success at the collegiate and major league level and you can too.
Don’t be a wanna-be any longer.
Call 1-888-ISUC and start calling games like a professional.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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