April Fool’s Day is bearing down on us like a snow storm across the Sahara. If you’re like me, you know plenty of candidates who deserve a sound pranking. My all-time favorite prank dates back to the seventies. Kenny Young and I were eating sardines at lunch when a co-worker, Tim, started complaining about the odor. He went on and on about how nasty they were and chiding us about eating rotten fish.
After lunch, Kenny tucked the sardine tins under the front seat of Tim’s car. This was on a Friday afternoon in July. Tim drove home and parked the vehicle with the windows up all weekend. By Monday morning, the sardine remains had achieved a high state of putrefaction. Neither Tim, nor the car, was ever the same again. I’d love to hear the story of your favorite prank.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Duchess of Frivolity who coordinates the literary puppeteers is Kukla, Fran, & Ollie Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
My audition with Col. Sparky’s Fife & Kazoo Band went poorly. Never have I witnessed a more dismal group of musicians.
The vocalist, a prudish woman in her fifties, appears to have been beaten at birth with an ugly stick. Her range can be defined as somewhere between a braying donkey and a cat in heat. She could not carry a tune if given a lorry for transportation.
The tuba player on my left insisted on elbowing my ribs with each toot of his oversized fart machine. My banjo could barely be heard above the din.
– Simon Cowell
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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