What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
One Idiot Short of a Village
The company I work for is continually reinventing itself. We’re even considering adopting an Aretha Franklin song and altering the lyrics to “Change, change, change . . . .”
Most people have hard time adjusting to change, but I tend to respond to it like a stomach virus. Once I get past the throwing up and diarrhea, I start to feel better and pretty soon my appetite has returned and I’m willing to try something new. Another healthy way to view it is like constipation and take up the motto, “This too shall pass.”
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the meter maid who makes sure we’re not double-parked is Lovely Rita Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Bang! The mayor slammed his gavel. “Is the committee ready to report?”
“Yes your honor. We’ve researched changing the classification of Nasal Falls from a hamlet to a village. It appears we need one more item to satisfy the qualifications.”
“And what is that?”
“According to constitutional bylaws, every village must have an idiot.”
“Where do we find one who’s willing to move to Wisconsin and work for cheese?”
“We’ve interviewed one applicant who shows promise. He’s been splitting his time between California and Florida. He’s looking to retire—and loves cheese. He even has a dog named Goofy.”
“Excellent. When can he start?”
____________________________________________________
Now, before you get your mouse ears wrinkled, I’m not implying that Mickey Mouse is an idiot. I assure you he’s much smarter than the mayor and council members of this wanna-be village. But still, I would question the sanity of anyone considering a move to Nasal Falls, WI.
56 Comments on “One Idiot Short of a Village”
Leave a reply to Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Cancel reply
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
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What's So Funny? 
I think that Mr. Mouse would be a certified idiot if he traded in his mouse ears for a cheese head, especially if he chose to retire in Nasal Falls over Disneyland Paris where I imagine quaffing red wine and smoking Gitanes is encouraged! Bugs, Daffy and even Looney Tunes certified idiot, Elmer, wouldn’t do that!
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Elmer does appear to be a good fit as he is definitely sharp as a marble.
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P.S. One of your best post titles EVER.
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Why, thank you V. I plan to make a longer story using this title and it won’t feature Mickey in the lead role.
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Feel free to star some of the characters who work over here. My boss wants to kill everyone.
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Maybe you should suggest they transfer to Nasal Falls and open a regional office there. 🙂
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Dear Goofy (I’ve always suspected as much),
Perhaps Chuck E. Cheese should be considered for the job. I can think of a few almost former coworkers and customers who would vie for such a cushy job as well. I agree…great title. Cheesy story. Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy?
Shalom,
Lovely Rita Meter Maid (Where would you be without me?)
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Dear Rita,
I can’t believe the number of candidates coming out of the woodwork to clamor for this job. Had it not been for my aversion to sub-zero temperatures, I would have applied myself. Perry would have exceled at the position, but has a deep hatred for cheese. With the top two candidates out of the running, Nasal Falls had to raise their standards. It’s too bad the village isn’t big enough for more than one idiot.
Toodle-loo
Goofy
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I love the line “every village must have an idiot.” That is so true no matter where you go. Wonderful title, too.
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Thanks, Alicia. Everyone needs a place to call home. 🙂
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LOL. There had a be bodily function somewhere in the post eh? Cute and fun story 🙂
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Glad you picked up on that. I was pretty proud that I got three in the intro this week.
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I’m pretty sure Mickey is off limits for criticism. Funny stuff.
BTW, I put my spy in high heels just for you. Go check it out.
Tracey
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Càn’t wait to read that. No one has ever written a post for me!
🙂
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Yes and with photos!!
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Move to Nasal Falls? You’d have to be a bit of a drip to do that 🙂
LOL another marvelous encounter with the Master of mirth, mystification and mayhem :p
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Thank you, Lyn. Yes, it would take a drip to fit in there.
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I’m sure there’s a recruitment site for finding idiots. It’s the internet after all, it caters to every requirement. Loved the intro. And the story. 🙂
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They should run the ad in Washington DC. Plenty of idiots there.
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Hmmmm…. The US is run by idiots? No wonder the world’s a mess 😦
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I echo the others with the “great title” part!
Lovely Rita must wait with bated breath each week to see just what she will next be called!
Fun stuff – I have some cheese-loving friends but don’t know if they would be willing to move to Nasal Falls…
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I always wondered about bated breath. Does it smell minty fresh, or more like seaweed?
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Think it depends on the situation!! 😉
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I think we could start a whole conversation on the meaning of bated breath. I do get a charge out of the new name each week. It’s become an FF tradition that do enjoy. 😉
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I’m glad. I enjoy it too.
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I think you’re right (sure it’s not baited?😜😆)
I wait impatiently for Russell’s submission!
Don’t mind us, Russell, we’re just borrowing your wall for a little chat! 😉
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I don’t know it probably is baited. But I’m still not sure exactly where that came from. Research time.
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No…was teasing as so many use baited (fishing) when they should be using bated (holding breath)!
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Ah Bach.
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LOL!
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Hilarious, Russell. Maybe they can find an idiot who loves both cheese and winter sports. It’s hard to believe a place like that doesn’t already had an idiot. (Be carefull writing about the mouse as his copyright still hasn’t run out.) They should look harder. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne
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Mickey can take a joke pretty well. It’s Yosemite Sam you have to watch out for.
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oh my, this is deep. or i’m just slow. i had to read again and bingo! gotcha! 🙂
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If you think this is a tough read, you should see the job application.
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I can understand how this could be a problem in the USA. We Brits have thought this through so much better. We have a royal family to ensure security of supply of idiots.
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I feel sorry for the royal family. They can’t even fart without it being a tabloid headline.
“QUEEN FARTS, CAUSING 7.4 SEISMIC TREMBLE AT CROWN LEVEL”
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They get fed, housed, pampered, protected. There are plenty worthy of your sorrow sooner.
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Loved the title. Won’t be applying for the job though, I’m happy being idiotic here.
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Oh, Sandra. I’m afraid you’ll never qualify as an idiot. But it’s okay. Somebody has to be the sane one.
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We have more than our fair share of idiots here, they aren’t aware they are idiots of course, the best ones always think they are perfectly capable! Well done as always Russ
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Sometimes I even think I’m capable. Most idiots are smart, they just lack common sense.
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I think if you live in a big city there are too many idiot to count, but I have an inkling that idiots don’t like cheese.. Maybe you can get more applicants with cheese doodles..
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Hmm…that will create a problem. How do they feel about ice cream? There are a lot of dairies in Wisconsin.
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Ice cream work well (low-fat)
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Isn’t Mickey’s dog named Pluto? 😉
Either way, I’m sorry for anyone living in a place called “Nasal Falls.”
Cheers!
MG
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Yep, I wondered when someone would catch that? What’s up with naming your dog after a planet? It’s a good thing he didn’t call him Uranus.
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I so love cheese. I think I’ll apply, I sure qualify. Nasal falls sounds oddly appealing, too. This, too, shall pass.
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Nasal Falls has the highest Kleenex consumption per capita in the country. Let’s hope your desire to move there does indeed pass.
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The idea that there might be a shortage of idiots is itself laughable 🙂
Nice work.
KT
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Perhaps I should write about a town of idiots who needs a sane person? Washington DC would be the obvious choice, but I don’t know if you could find a sane person who would want to live there.
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Well, now, Russell, this is just downright cute! You in extremely good form — as always.
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Thank you, Sandra. I don’t try to overwhelm my readers with stories that would require deep mental pondering. Shoot from the hip and aim low. That’s my plan.
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This is a great title for your story, Russell. Oh, Mickey knows the score. I doubt he’d work for cheese now. He’s all famous and everything! Fun story. Maybe he would send them some ears to wear.
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I’m sure Mickey draws a healthy pension, but still a mouse needs something to keep him active and make him feel useful. If he hangs around the house all day Minnie will just find projects for him to work on.
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That’s a good point!
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I think I must have been watching to much SNL, I fully expected a Republican presidential candidate to rear his head. lol
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