One Idiot Short of a Village

The company I work for is continually reinventing itself. We’re even considering adopting an Aretha Franklin song and altering the lyrics to “Change, change, change . . . .”

Most people have hard time adjusting to change, but I tend to respond to it like a stomach virus. Once I get past the throwing up and diarrhea, I start to feel better and pretty soon my appetite has returned and I’m willing to try something new. Another healthy way to view it is like constipation and take up the motto, “This too shall pass.”

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the meter maid who makes sure we’re not double-parked is Lovely Rita Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Marie Gail Stratford
copyright – Marie Gail Stratford

Bang! The mayor slammed his gavel. “Is the committee ready to report?”

“Yes your honor. We’ve researched changing the classification of Nasal Falls from a hamlet to a village. It appears we need one more item to satisfy the qualifications.”

“And what is that?”

“According to constitutional bylaws, every village must have an idiot.”

“Where do we find one who’s willing to move to Wisconsin and work for cheese?”

“We’ve interviewed one applicant who shows promise. He’s been splitting his time between California and Florida. He’s looking to retire—and loves cheese. He even has a dog named Goofy.”

“Excellent. When can he start?”

____________________________________________________

Now, before you get your mouse ears wrinkled, I’m not implying that Mickey Mouse is an idiot. I assure you he’s much smarter than the mayor and council members of this wanna-be village. But still, I would question the sanity of anyone considering a move to Nasal Falls, WI.

 

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56 Comments on “One Idiot Short of a Village

  1. I think that Mr. Mouse would be a certified idiot if he traded in his mouse ears for a cheese head, especially if he chose to retire in Nasal Falls over Disneyland Paris where I imagine quaffing red wine and smoking Gitanes is encouraged! Bugs, Daffy and even Looney Tunes certified idiot, Elmer, wouldn’t do that!

    Like

  2. Dear Goofy (I’ve always suspected as much),

    Perhaps Chuck E. Cheese should be considered for the job. I can think of a few almost former coworkers and customers who would vie for such a cushy job as well. I agree…great title. Cheesy story. Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy?

    Shalom,

    Lovely Rita Meter Maid (Where would you be without me?)

    Like

    • Dear Rita,
      I can’t believe the number of candidates coming out of the woodwork to clamor for this job. Had it not been for my aversion to sub-zero temperatures, I would have applied myself. Perry would have exceled at the position, but has a deep hatred for cheese. With the top two candidates out of the running, Nasal Falls had to raise their standards. It’s too bad the village isn’t big enough for more than one idiot.
      Toodle-loo
      Goofy

      Like

  3. Move to Nasal Falls? You’d have to be a bit of a drip to do that 🙂
    LOL another marvelous encounter with the Master of mirth, mystification and mayhem :p

    Like

  4. I’m sure there’s a recruitment site for finding idiots. It’s the internet after all, it caters to every requirement. Loved the intro. And the story. 🙂

    Like

  5. I echo the others with the “great title” part!
    Lovely Rita must wait with bated breath each week to see just what she will next be called!
    Fun stuff – I have some cheese-loving friends but don’t know if they would be willing to move to Nasal Falls…

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  6. Hilarious, Russell. Maybe they can find an idiot who loves both cheese and winter sports. It’s hard to believe a place like that doesn’t already had an idiot. (Be carefull writing about the mouse as his copyright still hasn’t run out.) They should look harder. Well done. 😀 — Suzanne

    Like

  7. I can understand how this could be a problem in the USA. We Brits have thought this through so much better. We have a royal family to ensure security of supply of idiots.

    Like

    • I feel sorry for the royal family. They can’t even fart without it being a tabloid headline.
      “QUEEN FARTS, CAUSING 7.4 SEISMIC TREMBLE AT CROWN LEVEL”

      Liked by 1 person

      • They get fed, housed, pampered, protected. There are plenty worthy of your sorrow sooner.

        Like

  8. We have more than our fair share of idiots here, they aren’t aware they are idiots of course, the best ones always think they are perfectly capable! Well done as always Russ

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  9. Isn’t Mickey’s dog named Pluto? 😉

    Either way, I’m sorry for anyone living in a place called “Nasal Falls.”

    Cheers!

    MG

    Like

    • Perhaps I should write about a town of idiots who needs a sane person? Washington DC would be the obvious choice, but I don’t know if you could find a sane person who would want to live there.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Sandra. I don’t try to overwhelm my readers with stories that would require deep mental pondering. Shoot from the hip and aim low. That’s my plan.

      Like

  10. This is a great title for your story, Russell. Oh, Mickey knows the score. I doubt he’d work for cheese now. He’s all famous and everything! Fun story. Maybe he would send them some ears to wear.

    Like

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