Day After Undead Day

If you’re dropping by to read my take on this week’s photo prompt, I want to forewarn you, it’s a pretty morbid tale. Frankly, I’m embarrassed to even know an author who would stoop such lowbrow forms of entertainment.

Come Friday, I’ll be heading to the wilderness for “the meeting of the mindless,” better known as DEER CAMP. This twice-a-year event has little to do with deer hunting and is more concerned with 3,000-calorie meals, an adequate supply of beer, and good conversation.

If this is your first visit to the Friday Flash Fiction cemetery, we hope you’ll choose to become interred with us. To find out more about this FREE offer contact Morticia Adams Wisoff-Fields. To view the headstones of other FFF Authors click here.

copyright - J. Hardy Carroll
copyright – J. Hardy Carroll

Do you have a recently deceased loved one who refuses to stay in the grave?

Do they spend day after undead day wandering the neighborhood looking for someone’s head to bite off?

YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION!

In the past year, thousands of American corpses were injected with a product from the Dominican Republic commonly known as “Uncle Sal’s Embalming Fluid and Furniture Polish Remover,” which impairs the ability to rest in peace.

At the law offices of McLively, Block, & Ayr, we give-a-damn about the rights of the undead.

You owe it to your loved one.

Call 1-ANO-BRA-INER

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58 thoughts on “Day After Undead Day

  1. Dear Uncle Fester,

    In reading this, I nearly spewed my breakfast on the screen. McLivey, Block and Ayr? Those names alone make me shudder. i saw a commercial for a law firm recently (true story) where they were advertising lawsuits for Mesothelioma. So help me, the announcer said, “If you or a loved one has died as a result…” It must’ve been M, B & A. This is seriously one of your most irreverent best stories.

    Shalom,

    Morticia

    PS Thank you, Thing.

    1. Dearest Morticia,
      Please accept my apologies for the near spewing of breakfast. It’s a good thing you didn’t choke or McLively, Block, & Ayr would have been on my back faster than a cat could lick it’s butt.

      Evidently, the people in my story aren’t the only dead people looking for someone to sue. Boy, it’s hard to be original these days.
      Uncle Fester

    1. Nothing wrong with the dead double-dipping. From what I understand, they are having problems dialing in. Their fingers keep falling off when they try to push the buttons.

  2. I absolutely love where your mind goes! “Uncle Sal’s Embalming Fluid and Furniture Polish Remover,” ~ snake oil for the dead, undead, oh! I mean dead. Whatever. Have a wonderful time chasing deer (or just watching them pass by.
    on the way to the biscuits and gravy.)

    1. Thanks, Alicia. Funeral homes are trying to improve their margins by looking at lower-cost supplies. Unfortunately, this one didn’t work out too well for them.

      I’ll also turn the Big Six-Oh while in the woods on Monday. I can’t think of a better way to spend a birthday.

  3. Well, someone has to look after the undead! You got just the team to do it. I’m sure you’re good hands with them, no doubt. Oh my goodness. Enjoy that meal!! Sounds fun.

      1. Thanks, Russell. Well, you know kids are an honest bunch. They always keep me on my toes! So, is what Perry can look forward to? I think he’s in trouble.

  4. I personally do not care for the rights of the undead because there is no law yet to protect them. There is age, race, religion, gender, and so forth but no undead protected class. There is no same undead married law. But as a partner in McLively, Block, & Ayr, I’ll do my best to secure the best settlement for any undead clients I may have, just don’t ask me to spend the night with one. Allright, maybe with one.

    1. Well, someone needs to challenge that same-undead marriage law, and I think you three guys are just the ones to tackle it–all the way to the supreme court if necessary.

      I hear those undead girls make for a pretty cold date. But hey, it’s only a one-nighter, right?

  5. Now that we know what the cause is, maybe there’ll be an end to all the undead wandering through the halls of fiction. We can put a stop to it at last. I’m so glad you went public with this information.

    1. Those who dare discriminate against the undead are trembling in the shoes over the prospect of facing Mick, Perry, & C.E. in the courtroom. I’d be scared in run into them in a public restroom.

  6. A bit of humor from a very serious photo prompt. I like that. I have cried enough through this entire FF challenge. Thank you for making my stomach hurt from laughing so much. Who says everything has to be morbid and sad?
    Great …. Great …. Great !!!
    Isadora 😎

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