I’ve never been a big fan of superheroes with the possible exceptions of Underdog and Super Chicken. Generally, I prefer the bumbling anti-hero who strives to avoid conflict, but tends to accidently save the day simply by default.
Such characters consistently fail in areas where they most desire to succeed (i.e., romance, best-selling author, etc.), and have an uncanny knack of always ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Trouble follows them like a band of gypsy hemorrhoids, yet they can’t help but crawl out of every sewage hole smelling like a rose.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the cosmetic-wielding Wonder Woman who can teach you to hold successful home parties from the comfort of your own blog is Mary Kay Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to dip your toe in this brave new venture, visit her site and follow the step-by-step instructions. To view the imprisoned souls in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Slower than a sloth wading through molasses!
More powerful than an extra-strength laxative!
Able to leap small bounds in a single building!
Look! In your soup!
It’s a fly! It’s a bug!
Yes, it’s Stuporman… strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with a bad toupee and reasoning abilities far beneath those of a concrete garden gnome!
Stuporman… who can reverse the flow of raw sewage, bend spaghetti noodles with his bare hands, and who, disguised a foul-mouth politician from a great northeastern metropolis, fights a never-ending battle for ignorance, hatred, social injustice, and the extinction of the American Dream!
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Stuporman did not authorize or offer to pay me millions of dollars to post this on my site. He furthermore wishes me to inform you that any resemblance between his character and that of any politician living or dead is strictly a coincidence.