I’ve taken many personality tests over the years, including the famous “Berkman.” It’s amazing how accurate most of them are in describing all of my wonderful qualities, especially my modesty and humility. These traits come in handy when I’m standing in front of a crowd giving a block-buster speech
One thing they haven’t been able to do is tell me how to overcome SAD (Socially Awkward Disorder). No, this isn’t some sort of political aversion. It’s what happens when you put me in a situation with a group of strangers and expect me to mingle and be fluent in chit-chat and small talk. I freeze up. Connie usually finds me cowering in a corner, hiding behind a magazine. She tells me, “It’ll be all right,” but it never is.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the cigar-smoking psychoanalyst who peels back the layers of our weekly tales is Sigourney Freud Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, stretch out on her couch and follow the step-by-step instructions. To view the imprisoned souls in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
One day, a couple of us boys were in the restroom when someone discovered one of the toilets was clogged. When flushed, water would surge over the side and create a miniature tsunami across the floor.
An older Jewish boy, Perry, pulled out his toy Egyptians and Hebrews, and suggested we stage a reenactment of Moses parting the Red Sea.
While Perry was being paddled for flooding the teacher’s lounge, I returned to the restroom before heading back to class. From out of nowhere, visions of Pharaoh and Egyptian chariots stampeded across my consciousness.
One more flush couldn’t hurt anything.