Yesterday, I gave my 2nd Toastmaster’s speech at a club meeting. This was Project #8 from the Competent Communicator handbook and required the use of visual aids. I made some oversized flash cards to walk the audience through the hazards of “Irritable Vowel Syndrome.”
As a writer, I’m sure you’re well aware of the problems IVS can cause. Just the other day, I was scratching graffiti on a bathroom wall when “I” and “E” got into a fistfight over who should go first in the middle of a word. Things got ugly. It’s no wonder Perry can’t get a date.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Letter Tamer who has no problem getting her vowels and consonants to jump through flaming hoops is Jackie Collins Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the mug shots of all the addicts in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Half-way House click here.
Our route to New Orleans skirted around Memphis and cut south, straight through Mississippi.
“Connie, did I ever tell you about my job at the cookie factory in Jackson?” I pointed to a road sign announcing the first exit to the city.
“No. When did you work there?”
“It was a summer job. I was responsible for adding raisins to the oatmeal cookie batter. Everything went fine until we ran out of raisins.”
“What happened then?”
“I substituted ‘smart pills.’ That is, until my boss fired me.”
“Why did he do that?
“He said the smart pills tasted like rabbit shit. To which I replied, ‘See, you’re getting smarter already.’”
*the above FF is an excerpt from the short story, What Happens in New Orleans.