I hate to admit this, but I have something in common with Donald Trump. I recently won a Presidential Election against a female candidate who was far more competent and qualified than me. My appointments include; Chevy Chase, Sec. of Slapstick, Bill Murray, Sec. of De Fence, and my personal Press Secretary, Perry Block. What could possibly go wrong?
When I joined Toastmasters, I thought the name implied a drinking club, but all they want to do is talk. Maybe I had them confused with that other group, Alcoholics Monogamous. However, I’m not going to let that interfere with my campaign promise, Make America Laugh Again.
If this is your first visit to Friday Flash Fiction, the inquisitive little detective who always solves the mystery in 100 words or less is Nancy Drew Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a box in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block, click here.
“Al, you’ve got to do something.”
“What do you think I should do?”
“I don’t know, put up a wall or something.”
“That would cost Kansas City a lot of money, and I’m not sure how effective it would be.”
“It doesn’t need to be a huge wall. A short fence would do. Ever since you invented the Internet we’ve had nothing but trouble. At first it was just once a week, but now it’s out of control. The entire blogosphere is at risk.”
“Oh, come on, Tipper, don’t be so melodramatic. How much damage can one purple-obsessed pygmy do?”
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
I don't write, I touch without touching.
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