In school, I was never any good at science. All those experiments to unlock the mysteries of the universe seemed too much like work to me. It was a whole lot easier to unlock my imagination and just make up an answer.
Here’ an example: “How does electricity work?” Answer: The wires running to your house are actually hollow tubes filled with tiny energy gnats. These guys work for practically nothing, so the power company makes a healthy profit. Occasionally, the gnats go on strike (power outage) for higher wages, benefits, etc., and our rates go up. And that, boys and girls, is how electricity works.
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Copyright – Douglas MacIlroy
“Here’s an interesting article.” Jan flexed the newspaper. “Remember a couple of years ago when all those birds were falling out of the sky?”
“Yes, I remember,” said Shelly. “Some of the birds were purple martins. It broke my heart.” She sniffed back a tear.
“Well, our wonderful government wasted ten million dollars of taxpayer money on a study to determine the gender of the dead birds. I could’ve told them how to do that for nothing.”
“Oh really? And how do you tell their sex, by the coloring?”
“No. It’s easy. The females always have their mouths open.”
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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