In school, I was never any good at science. All those experiments to unlock the mysteries of the universe seemed too much like work to me. It was a whole lot easier to unlock my imagination and just make up an answer.
Here’ an example: “How does electricity work?” Answer: The wires running to your house are actually hollow tubes filled with tiny energy gnats. These guys work for practically nothing, so the power company makes a healthy profit. Occasionally, the gnats go on strike (power outage) for higher wages, benefits, etc., and our rates go up. And that, boys and girls, is how electricity works.
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Copyright – Douglas MacIlroy
“Here’s an interesting article.” Jan flexed the newspaper. “Remember a couple of years ago when all those birds were falling out of the sky?”
“Yes, I remember,” said Shelly. “Some of the birds were purple martins. It broke my heart.” She sniffed back a tear.
“Well, our wonderful government wasted ten million dollars of taxpayer money on a study to determine the gender of the dead birds. I could’ve told them how to do that for nothing.”
“Oh really? And how do you tell their sex, by the coloring?”
“No. It’s easy. The females always have their mouths open.”