Rise and Whine

School starts back in our area on August 13th. Many of the local stores, such as Walmart, provide a display containing supply lists to assist parents with their back-to-school shopping. For some reason, each child is expected to be equipped with six boxes of facial tissues. I suppose these are to dry the teacher’s eyes when your child drives them to tears.

To mess with the store, I like to call a manager over and tell them I’m looking for the supply list for children who are home schooled. It gets ‘em every time.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the schoolmarm of 100-word stories is Margot Liberty Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

 

copyright – Dale Rogerson

From the moment her first guest checked in, Dale regretted opening an air BNB.

“The bed is so high, I had to use a stepladder,” one visitor whined. “And these chairs—my feet don’t even touch the floor.”

A guest from Scotland criticized her cutlery. “You call this a knife?” he screamed. “A serial killer would wear out his arm trying to crease a marshmallow with this thing.”

Her next client, from Arkansas, wanted to know if she served homemade biscuits and gravy.

Couldn’t they just relax and enjoy the beauty of Montreal?

Who knew Fictioneers would be so picky?

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40 Comments on “Rise and Whine

  1. Dear Bubba-Biscuit-Boy,

    Some of us have a fear of heights you know. There should at least be side-rails. At least there is ample room under the bed to hide an invisible box.
    Personally I love to go into Walmart and start all the animated toys going at the same time and then walk away. Great fun. Clean up in aisle 5.

    Shalom,

    Margot Liberty W(T)F

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Margot Liberty W(T)F,

      Boy, you’re not letting that invisible box out of your sight for one minute. Poor Dale. There won’t be a Do-Not-Remove tag left in the place after your visit. The good news is all she needs for your breakfast is a couple of boxes of dry, tasteless cereal.

      We were at Walmart picking out a birthday gift for a 1 yr. old the other day and Connie had to push all the “Try Me” buttons on the toys. Now I know where she learned that trick.

      My ears are still ringing,
      Bubba Biscuit Boy

      Liked by 1 person

  2. And why I will NOT open an Air BnB… which I actually considered… 😉
    Too funny… keep that knife-wielding Scot away from my kitchen!
    And yes… I’ll make you biscuits and gravy 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey, I don’t scream! Screech and shriek maybe, holler sometimes, yell, rant and rave, bellow and even caterwaul on occasion if the knife is dull as a Canuck, but I don’t ever scream.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This made me LOL! I can’t imagine strangers staying in my home and then having to listen to them complain. They would be put straight into the invisible box! Double-padlocked! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Biscuits and gravy sound lovely – will I be able to get those in Seattle? In my opinion Air BnBs are a perfect business plan as long as you don’t have any guests.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I think Dale might need to change her advert on BNB to stop her guests having unrealistic expectations. Great story, love the line about creasing marshmallows.

    Liked by 1 person

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