The Idiot Express

I heard a great piece of advice last week. “Don’t waste time judging yourself. Plenty of people are already doing that, and you don’t want to put any of them out of work.”

Just think of the freedom that statement offers. Now, instead of worrying about your own stupidity and social gaffes, you can stop beating yourself up and focus on something more productive, like what shade of purple to dye that unruly lock of hair that tends to flop down over your left eye.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the capable engineer who keeps this train from derailing is Kacey Jones Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Sandra Crook


“You seem to have forgotten the goal of our little endeavor,” Fish said.
“Guys like Ole Birdsong aren’t graduates from Miss Manner’s School of Sophistication and Etiquette. They rarely consult their brains before opening their mouths. They’re carefree, unpredictable, and totally devoid of common sense. That’s why they’re called idiots. You should be thrilled we found such an outstanding candidate who has the talent and ability to catapult Nasal Falls from a tiny hamlet to a village.”
Rip smirked. “I’m fine with being catapulted, I just don’t like the form of internal combustion he’s using to shoot us to the other side.”

*the above is an excerpt from “One Idiot Short of a Village.”

43 Comments on “The Idiot Express

  1. Dear Rip,

    Funny you should mention that purple dye for the unruly lock of hair. I’ve been contemplating. This begs the other question…which unruly lock should I choose? I can only imagine what internal combustion must mean. No need for a whoopee cushion, eh? Definitely no input from Miss Manners.


    Kacey Jones W(T)F

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Kacey Jones W(T)F,

      In your case, I’d select a lock that dangles from under you little beret and hangs down over your snow-white forehead. It would give you that “Supermime” look that’s so rarely seen in Walmart these days.

      As for Ole, the poor guy can’t help himself. He adheres to the old adage, “It’s better break wind and bear the shame than to hold it and bear the pain.”

      Ah, evening at Walmart . . .
      Rip Skinflint


  2. Hey! I just read about Ole! I think he sounds more like he should be from Newfoundland, by the way… And I really liked him, despite his, err… situation 😉

    As for the purple locks, why the hell not? Life’s too short to be wasting your time wondering what others think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well Dale, if you’ve read the book you know he’s from Canada. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but a very likable guy.

      Instead of purple, why not try neon blue? I think it would look ravishing on you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah I know…and the accent you’ve given him, works for Thunder Bay but even better as a Newfie…

        My fave colour is orange but don’t think I’d like it as hair. Blue? Why not?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow, you know a lot about Ole. Thanks for reading the book. I hope you found Slim Svenson interesting as well, don’t chya know.

        I look forward to the photo of you with a blue lock.


  3. I like your first sentiment, don’t waste time judging yourself because others do it so well. Getting older has its perks. I don’t give a “hoo-ha” about what others think of me (more or less). =) You write such entertaining posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks, now I know what to do with that unruly lock of hair that’s driving me batty. Although, I’m thinking hot pink ought to do it. hehe! I turned the tv off today, tired of watching the Idiot’s Express series…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Two more stories for the price of FREE. If you like politics you can read the comments as an added benefit. There are more of the same if you just head north, to the right, then click on one or both of the book covers. Russell would also appreciate it if you reblog as I’ve done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Maybe all of us Friday Fictioneers can dye a strand of hair purple as a sign of solidarity. As for those with no hair, well… maybe a purple tattoo on the scalp?
    Warn me when Ole Birdsong activates his internal combustion system, will ya? I’ll keep the windows closed.


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