What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Wednesday Watchers
For Christmas, my daughter bought me a wonderful book entitled, Insults Every Man Should Know. For a man who was once told he was “sharp as a marble,” I’ve found this little tome extremely handy. Here are a few of my favorites:
“You look great in that Facebook pic. Did you learn Photoshop recently?
“Who farted? Oh wait, that was you talking, wasn’t it?”
“He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly, and Moe.”
If you have a favorite slam you’d like to share, feel free to add it in the comments.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our hostess is the quick twitted Muggle-Wumps Wisoff-Fields.. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Copyright – Peter Abbey
Minutes of The Wednesday Afternoon Voyeurs Club – 7 Feb, 2024
The club met in the Two-Way Mirror Room on Bawdy Boardwalk.
Everyone wore their traditional overcoats with the pockets cut out.
Peeping Perry called the meeting to order at 2pm.
New business consisted of watching the nude beach. Due to inclement weather, the only sun-worshipers were two mermaids, both of whom concealed their breast behind shells.
“Boy, this is lame,” Jeering Jerry snorted. “I could be home watching snow melt.”
Creepy Karen shot him the stink eye. “You sick bastard!”
Ollie Olger removed his hand from his pocket. “I’m going home.”
The meeting was adjourned at 2:05pm.
Leering Lori, Secretary
36 Comments on “Wednesday Watchers”
I'd love to hear from you
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 
Well that was definitely a bust! Sorry… a covered-up bust!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, darn mermaids should’ve left their shells on the seashore.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Troof!
LikeLike
😀 😀 😀 Contrary to popular belief, we mermaids are rather modest.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh well, we can only imagine. (sigh)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Observant Ernie,
This meeting sounds like a must to avoid. I hate to see mermaids or mimes exploited. At any rate your story was moderately to severely funny. As for insults, one of my dear old daddy’s favorites was “You’re a sharp a matzo ball.” (softer and squishier than a marble. 😉 )
Thanks for visiting the squares this week.
Shalom,
Muggle-Wumps W(T)F
LikeLiked by 1 person
When it comes to good insults and witty one-liners, it’s hard to beat you Jews. 🙂
LikeLike
Interesting story.
Leering Lori has tasks on hand now- to find something more interesting so that meetings can last longer 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I bet she has a few ideas.
LikeLike
True to form my friend. this is certainly one for any up-and-coming new book – perhaps one about mermaids 😄 As far as insults go, I have one that’s not so much an insult, but a quick quip for any annoying person: “Manducare mea bracis” – ‘Eat my shorts.’ It was commonly used by gladiators and directed towards any Roman senator who upset them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always loved “Eat my shorts,” especially when you add, “crust and all.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
LOL but it sounds so much better in Latin 😀
LikeLike
Those mermaids are such killjoys.The Voyeurs’ Club will need to do more research before their next get-together. Laughing here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, Mardi Gras is next week. Perhaps they can visit New Orleans.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I always wanted to be a mermaid, but those shells sound a little rough for tender areas! Cute story, Russell.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Shells are optional. 🙂
Thanks for reading and leaving a comment, Lori.
LikeLike
i suppose better luck next time. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe come back in July or August.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Those mermaids are so shellfish, they really should share their assets with those eager onlookers.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I myself like short meetings.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It doesn’t take long when you only have one agenda item. 🙂
LikeLike
And another five minutes of their precious lives lost to boredom. These poor people, doesn’t anyone have pity?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Perhaps they should merge with the Monday Exhibitionist Club.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ew.
Anyway, I remember my dad, who was rarely funny, saying that a program he was watching was about as exciting as a mashed potato sandwich. He never understood why my sister and I giggled the whole rest of the evening.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve not heard that one before. It does sound rather bland.
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Ollie Olger gives me the creeps.
So glad to read you here Russell, amusing as ever.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dawn. I appreciate you reading a leaving a comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What a hoot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad it gave you a chuckle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Where are the x-ray glasses when one needs them? So is that Two-Way Mirror Room portable? Because if it is…
LikeLike
I worked with a girl who commonly got confused by the English language. She referred to them as X-rated glasses, which were probably a lot better unless you want to view skeletons.
LikeLike
I couldn’t help dwelling on the cut-out pockets… I may need to go and bleach my mind now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So far, you’re the only one who caught the cut-out pockets, Sandra. That is a tough mental image to flush.
LikeLike
This was a special friend of mine at Tyson’s. These come out usually every week. He has written a couple books! Love, Jeanie
LikeLike
Pingback: Wednesday Watchers – What’s So Funny? – Vedic News BD