What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Blurred Vision
There’s a “gentlemen’s club” (titty bar to those of you less refined) in our town called The Peppermint Hippo. I wonder if the name reflects the physiques of the dancers or the clientele, but I haven’t dared to seek permission from my wife to investigate in person.
It did remind me of a book premise where a con man opened a club featuring plus-size women, planning to use it as a money laundering operation. Much to his dismay, it became so popular that it defeated his original purpose. I wonder if there’s a market for plus-sized, elderly male dancers? I may have to brush up on my moves.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our hostess, who sprinkles radioactive dust from her magic wand is Pixie “The Purple Marionette” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
It was her third year at Walla Walla Bing Bang when Shelley saw and touched her first invisible object. The theatre arts professor invited a guest speaker, Claude DeKalb, a professional mime, to lecture the class.
“Close your eyes and imagine a world of infinite possibilities, where anything you can envision becomes real—for the mind must conceive before the eyes can behold.”
In a Zen-like state of consciousness, Shelley stretched forth her hand and encountered something solid. Hard, yet smooth and cool to the touch.
She opened her eyes.
“Oh my God!” she whispered reverently. “I can see it!”
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*the above is a snippet from my unpublished novel, Criminal Mimes.
24 Comments on “Blurred Vision”
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What's So Funny? 
Ahem! I fear some trickery is afoot
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Yes indeed. Once she discovered this talent she began her life of Mime-Crime.
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Dear Professor Bing Bang,
This is my second attempt at a comment. Thank you Word Press for insisitin I sign in. So you’re likely to find my original carefully crafted comment in your spam folder. Or it might have just disolved into the ether. Lemme try to reconstruct the comment. I did blink so it won’t be exactly the same.
First I commended you for your use of you’re as in you are. There’s a multitude of committers of grammaticde on Facebook these days. The correct usages of your and you’re, their, they’re and there, or two, to and too need not apply. There you have my rant.
As for Shelley. A-HEM. You know she was Walla Dictorian of her granduating class. Summa Cum Loudly. She was also president of her sorority Alpa Zeta Mov. Her imagination has taken her into the world of invisible boxes and DNR tags.
Shalom,
Pixie “The Purple Marionette” W(T)F
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Dear Pixie “The Purple Marionette” WTF,
I would have loved to hear the Wall Dictorian speech, but afraid I might have nodded off. That’s quite a record of achievements. Did the sorority specialize in eating bran cereals? From the Mov at the end, I suspect so. Too bad she fell into a life of crime. May have had something to do with chewing the wrappers off all her crayons.
Best Regards,
Prof.Bing Bang
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Only a strong mind could conjure up that green glowing glass!
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Perhaps she had some strong drink beforehand, or someone put hallucinogenics in her prune juice.
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this illustrates the power of suggestion, which makes the gullible susceptible to manipulation.
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Absolutely. However, if you look at all the modern advances in technology, someone had to imagine them before they became a reality.
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i totally agree.
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There were a couple of lines in your story that had me LOL, Russell, such as “The theatre arts professor invited a guest speaker, Claude DeKalb, a professional mime, to lecture the class.” Fun story, funny stuff and I especially enjoyed your “gentlemen’s club” introduction; let’s hear it for the women of substance out there! In closing, I would like to say “Ooh ee ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!” Thank you ~ Nancy
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Your comment had me laughing out loud, Nancy. Criminal Mimes is a romantic comedy in which the victim (who has her invisible box stolen by a mime–Shelley) becomes romantically involved with the detective (Colton Lowry) who tries to solve the case and recover the invisible box. I’m trying to find a publisher for it, but comedy is a hard genre to sell.
Thanks for dropping by, reading my post, and leaving such a wonderful comment.
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Long time no see, Russell! I always love to swing by and laugh at your stories. I’m desperate to know what Shelley conjured up with her zen-like mind, if it was me I think I’d be trying for cold hard cash… or cold hard liquor. Either will do!
Jen
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The things Shelley conjures up confound most people. She’s the only person I know who thinks collecting Do-Not-Remove tags from furniture and mattresses is a normal hobby.
Like you, I would prefer cash and/or booze.
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A delightful snippet from your forthcoming novel I’m intrigued!
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thank you, Keith.
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Interesting concept, Russell.
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I suppose it works for mimes. I wonder how many have trapped themselves in invisible boxes and were unable to get out.
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Uhm. That’s quite the Zen experience Shelley has.
And I bet, in the right cabaret, plus size elderly male dancers could be superstars.
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Well, you know what they say about heavy-set people “There’s more there to love.” 🙂
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Wow! What a great take on the prompt!
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Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.
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The comments are as much fun as the story!
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Sometimes even funnier. Thanks for dropping by, Dawn.
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