What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
Category: humor
Street Vermin
Have you ever noticed that when a bug hits your windshield they always splatter directly in the center of your field of vision? This “accuracy of aim” occurs far too often to be purely coincidental. I suspect they are graduates from Kamikaze Insect Institute… Continue Reading “Street Vermin”
This Means WAR!
We’ve coined a new slogan here at the Gayer Plantation; “What doesn’t kill you will make you so sore you can’t move without pain.” Connie’s been putting in long days in the flower farm while I work two-hour stints in the vegetable garden. Spring… Continue Reading “This Means WAR!”
Partners in Lobotomy
I’ve discovered the secret to being late. Leave early. It’s that simple. When there’s plenty of time to spare, your brain immediately tries to fill that void with a distraction or task that should only take a few minutes, but in reality takes five… Continue Reading “Partners in Lobotomy”
Dirty Laundry
Not a day goes by that I don’t get a phone call from a total stranger wanting to help me. Yesterday, a young lady named Lisa told me that because I stayed at one of their properties in the past, she wanted to give… Continue Reading “Dirty Laundry”
Video Surveillance
Let’s talk about “How To” books for a moment—especially those aimed at dummies. First of all, I don’t need to be reminded of my incompetence. I already have someone who does that for me. Secondly, I’m not sure I want to learn “How To.”… Continue Reading “Video Surveillance”
Pack Mule Mentality
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been guilty of impulse buying. That’s what I thought. Almost 100% (except for the two of you in denial, and the guy who’s afraid someone might accuse him of swearing allegiance to an iPad). Well, I’m guilty as… Continue Reading “Pack Mule Mentality”
Wobbly Legs
How many of you grew up watching Captain Kangaroo? Yesterday, while pondering the great mysteries of the universe, I thought of Mr. Green Jeans. In all of the hundreds of episodes I watched, I can’t remember seeing him in anything but overalls, causing me… Continue Reading “Wobbly Legs”
The No-Selfie Zone
I received the nicest card in the mail yesterday. It had a picture of a sock monkey on the front and a hand-written note inside. The postage stamp was round and featured a textured kickball—truly unique. It was from a fellow fictioneer who had… Continue Reading “The No-Selfie Zone”
No Film at Eleven
Tomorrow, I’ll be speaking at the OLLI (Osher Lifelong Learning Institute) monthly Books & Birthdays bash at Bordino’s. Many of the members of this group are distinguished professionals, teachers, and highly respect community leaders. I had planned to speak on how to generate a… Continue Reading “No Film at Eleven”
Inferior Decorators
I’ve always believed in bad Karma, but didn’t know it could happen in a dream. Last night, I dreamed I was hanging out with a group of people. One of them pulled out her cellphone, and naturally everyone else reached for theirs too. It… Continue Reading “Inferior Decorators”
Purchase ‘One Idiot Short of a Village’
Purchase ‘The Perils of Heavy Thinking’
What's So Funny? 