Geriatric Adventures

Bruce Willis is credited with saying something to the effect of, “No matter how old we get, we still feel twenty-three on the inside.” Most of the time I agree with that statement, but while battling gout a couple of weeks ago, I could’ve sworn I was eighty-eight.

When looking in the mirror, I always ask myself, “Who’s that old fart? Do we know him? When did he take the place of the young stud who used to appear there?” To boost my ego, I like to repeat the adage, “I may not be good as I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was.”

In this week’s story, a couple of octogenarian teenagers have a hormonal flashback. Gladys has been widowed several years and Richard lost his wife a few months ago after a four year ordeal with Alzheimer’s.

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the registered nurse in charge of dispensing medication (and tightening my straight-jacket)   is Florence Nightingale Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. After which, scroll down to the blue In links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs

copyright Kent Bonham
copyright Kent Bonham

“That’s disgusting,” hissed a teenager.

“Yeah you two, get a room!” The boys made gagging sounds and laughed before shuffling down the sidewalk.

“What do you think, Gladys?” Richard wiggled his eyebrows.

She smiled. “I’ve always wondered what the rooms were like in that fancy hotel.”

 

“One night?” asked the desk clerk.

“Nah, only a couple of hours,” said Richard with a wink.

The clerk rolled his eyes.

“Do you think we’ll be home before our kids report us as missing?” asked Gladys.

He pulled her close and lost himself in her deep sea-green eyes. “I certainly hope not.”

Love Birds - source unknown
Love Birds – source unknown

 

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37 thoughts on “Geriatric Adventures

  1. It’s a lovely tale, but since I am 23 just like you it’s kind of hard to relate to. And speaking of “hard,” the only thing anymore that such word refers to is my hearing. When you’re fully over your gout, how’s for some hanging with Richard and Gladys?

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  2. Haha! LOL!! Gosh I can’t wait to get old enough to have as much fun as Richard and Gladys! I think I’ll shuffle over the to the scooter store this weekend and dream of future possibilities!

    And I know what you mean about looking in the mirror. When I see my reflection I think, gosh I look old for 30! 😀

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    1. Thirty? You’re kidding me. You don’t look a minute over twenty-three. Everyone asks me where I buy this flattering shade of silver I color my hair with, but my lips are sealed.

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  3. Oh Russell, thanks for that. I really needed it this morning. I’d just read something very sad and was having a good old sniffle. This made me smile. It reminded me of the year before last when my best friend of 38 years and I were looking for a new church to attend. We arrived early and waited in the car park till others started to arrive. After four or five groups of people went into the church, we looked at one another and said at the exact same moment, “they’re all so old!!” I was 64 and my friend Jan was 69 😀

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    1. Aww . . . I’m glad it made you smile. That’s what I shoot for with each piece I write, whether it be a Flash Fiction or short story. I remember my mother making a comment one day, “They’re just a bunch of old women.” She was 90 herself at the time, but it didn’t occur to her that some might see her as “old.” 🙂

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  4. Dear Dr. Gillespie,
    Sorry about your gout. If it makes you feel any better I knew a young lady in her twenties who suffered with it. Love the story. Still fire in the old furnaces even if the embers need some stirring. Very sweet.
    Shalom,
    Nurse Flo

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  5. Like the punchline of the old man marrying the young girl and the doc claiming to him that the sex could be potentially fatal at a certain age. “Hey, if she dies, she dies.” Good laugh, Doc.

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  6. This reminds me of the Ann Landers comments from older people who kept assuring thing young readers that there was sex, love and life after 30…and 40 and 50 and… I’m sure that grossed lots of young people out but they’ll eventually appreciate the truth of it!

    janet

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    1. If I’d had more words to work with, the “mature” couple would have been caught making out on a park bench by the teenagers. A lot of things we thought of as repulsive don’t seem near as gross when they become part of your world.

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  7. The second picture is perfect punctuation. Richard and Gladys speeding past a Shell station. Where’s the building in the first picture where R&G got frisky? It’s so cool looking. Was it designed by Gaudi? It looks it to me, but I do know next to nuthin’ about architecture. It just doesn’t look like someplace in Levittown, that’s for sure.

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