This week’s story weighs in at 127 words, classifying it as Featherweight as opposed to the Mini Flyweight guideline of our guild. But I figured, “Hey, if Perry can get away with it, so can I.”
I’ll be leaving for North Carolina before daylight Thursday morning and won’t return until after 10 pm Friday night. So, I’m apologizing in advance for not replying to your comments or visiting other author’s blogs in a timely manner, but will do my best to catch up over the next twelve weeks.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the bouncer responsible for maintaining order in this establishment is Bella “Bone Crusher” Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. After which, scroll down to the blue In links critter and follow the links to other author’s blogs.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to cut you off.”
“Whaddya mean? I just got here.”
“Well, I’m sure it seems that way. Time really flies when you’re having fun.”
“Who said I was having fun? There’s more life at the county morgue than in this dump.”
“Now, now . . . let’s not get testy and resort to name calling. You can stay until you sober up—as long as you behave yourself.”
“Sober up? I haven’t ordered yet.”
“Ma’am, you were fuzzy-headed the moment you walked in. Now the whole room is blurry and starting to spin. You’re clearly intoxicated.”
“Who is this guy?” she asked the waitress.
“That’s Joe. He always stops in for a few shots before work.”
“What does he do?”
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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Nice mis-direction. Be sure to let us know his name in case he’s working at one of our hospitals. Safe travels and I’ll look for you sometime this summer. 🙂
Dear Brain Surgeon,
I think I got lost in the shuffle in this conversation. Needless to say, I think I’d rather be operated on by Jethro Bodine than this guy. All my best to you in your travels.
I hate it that you got lost. It started out as a two-way, but I had to add the waitress to set up the final line.
Well that’s reassuring
Love what you did with the photo. I’ll pass on the surgery, thank you.
loved this… btw the unique names u come up for Rochelle every week is humorous.. 😀 i hope she doesn’t kill me for supporting you 🙂
Ohh Russell, you really do need a holiday. This is the craziest one yet. I’m so glad I don’t need brain surgery ‘cos I’m completely normal 🙂
One thing is for certain…Rochelle need never think up an alter-ego for herself 😉
I’ll drink to that! But then again, you know I’m a heart surgeon.
Inspires confidence, doesn’t he? Nice one Russell, as ever.
Had to read it twice before I caught the right “voice” and realized the speaker was the one who was drunk. Then it was pretty funny!
Really funny, and really good…didn’t catch on that the man was a customer–and a drunk one at that–until he tried to blame the woman for the room getting blurry 🙂 Gotta watch out for those brain surgeons!
Nice twist midway through the conversation, and she does look like someone you’d prefer to see in an intoxicated state,although I guess it isn’t quite 2:00 A.M. yet! And no, Russell, I don’t get away with running over the 100 word count week after week. I may get away with it here in Friday Fictioneers, but in my actual life I get punished plenty! Believe it!
I wasn’t lost at all and that at first read. Well done.
As always, you first make me chuckle then make me think. Enjoy your weekend trip and I’ll patiently await the 12 weeks to hear back from you.
YIKES! No lobotomy for me please!
Oy! Glad I don’t need brain surgery. Great comic tale.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/if-at-first-you-dont-succeed/
and I’m sure he has a degee in carpenting… 🙂 had fun as always reading your entry
Haha Russell. Highly entertaining conversation. And here I thought he was going to be an airline pilot! 😀
Ah, so you’re familiar with the Foster Brooks skit from the Dean Martin show. I almost went that way, but decided not to since I would be on an airplane myself.
Well, I don’t remember that particular skit but I certainly remember Foster Brooks who played the best drunk man ever. (Catherine Ohara is the best woman drunk ever imho) I’ll have to see if it’s on Youtube! Hope you had a good trip and I trust there wasn’t a brain surgeon anywhere near the cockpit!
Ouch! I’d like to know the hospital where this guy works, so I can avoid it. Great knee-slapper. I could practically hear the drum shot after the last line.
Brain surgery! Yah! Great ending — and I also really liked the line about the county morgue. Good argument story here.
Obviously, this is from the “oh-crap-I-am-SO-wasted” department. I thought of Red Skelton’s Guzzler’s Gin routine (‘You tried Guzzler’s Gin? It comes in two sizes. Get the college size … one bottle, you’re in class by yourself!”) and the perspective was WAY off the beaten path for this guy! Hilarious, as usual. Hope Bella Bonecrusher didn’t break your stride!!! 😀
That’s one of the reasons I don’t drink…forgetfulness and a little bit of fear.
Lovely piece. I’m sure he’s a very good brain surgeon when he gets to it…? I hope.