Double Bogey on the Back 9

One of my all-time favorite Far Side cartoons featured a piano player in a western saloon.  Seeing the villain was about to stroll through the bat-wing doors, he announced, “Uh-oh, bad guy, switch to minor key.”

If I’d listened to Gary Larson, this week’s story would have been written in F-flat minor (even though there’s no such key as F-flat minor), but who am I to take advice from a comic genius.

Instead, I kept rotating the photo at 90 degree angles trying to get feel for what the individual in the picture might be trying to accomplish. Judging from the garb and dialect (muffled cursing), I deemed there was only one sub-species of the human race that could possibly get himself in such a predicament.

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the host of this weekly blogging tournament is Susie “Sandtrap” Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view FFF author leader board click here.


Copyright John Nixon
Copyright John Nixon

Myron Muldoon Mackintosh was prone to getting in sticky situations. Even though he rarely made the cut, he was one of the most popular players on the tour.

His antics off the course were legendary. The supermarket gossips rags documented every aspect of his private life. A recent cover photo of him cavorting with the Doublemint Twins, dressed in red and green plaid bikinis, had created a rift with his sponsor.

“Mackintosh, this is your last chance,” declared the Minnesota-based, manufacturing giant.

At the U.S. Open, he revolutionized golf by inventing the piano shot, now known as the Flying 3M.


17 Comments on “Double Bogey on the Back 9

  1. Why aren’t you and I cavorting with the Doublemint Twins? And frankly, even the Doublemint Twins aren’t old enough to remember the Doublemint Twins. And why isn’t Mr. Mackintosh up here for the U.S. Open? We could be having lots of fun practicing the piano shot, which for me goes just about the length of a piano (upright one).

    And thanks for joining Nouveau Old, Formerly Cute, Russell. This time I know our side will win!


    • Actually, there have been several sets of Doublemint twins, although none have been known to cavort with wild & crazy guys like us. I told Mackintosh that you had an extra room available only minutes away from the Merion Golf Course. Hopefully, you’re not making him bunk with Brandon.


  2. Aren’t you clever Russell! The Doublemint Twins have been the subject of many a man’s fantasies and that puts Mr. Mackintosh in solid company. Golfers are a strange lot. While I have never chased the little pill over hill and dale, the madness known as mini-golf is enough to show me it can cause a disease of lost perfection.


  3. That was definitely some inspired playing on Myron’s part. As for you, Russell, thank you for the golf lesson, I had no idea that there are pianos on the fairway. I just thought that Fairway was a supermarket on the East Coast.


  4. Very clever Russell, I never thought of a gold angle – even though I noticed the argyle socks and the baggy trooz…without connecting the two with golf. Another fine mess you’ve got him into. ‘Susie Sandtrap’ will be delighted.


  5. Russell, not to brag, but I went to college with a set of Doublemint twins as well as the heiress to the Wrigley fortune. I enjoyed your story and would like to continue to brag that I saw the 3M reference coming. And I rarely see your twists in advance. Feels like a Birdie to me.


  6. I thought I recognized the Mackintosh tartan! 🙂 And I’m old enough to remember the twins, too, although possibly not dressed in plaid bikinis. As for the 3M reference, that’s a sticky wicket.



  7. “How do I get outta here, said the joker to the thief” Fore!!!! I guess he gets his socks from three-colored sheep (remember Road to Bali?)
    Funny stuff as ALWAYS! Wonderful!


  8. Dear Alvin,

    Perhaps he should try his hand at disc golf. I know someone who might offer a lesson or two. 😉 Double your pleasure, double your fun… Yeah I remember them, too.

    As always you left me laughing.


    Susie S.


  9. Shhh . . . whatever you do don’t tell Tiger about the Doublemint Twins! He’ll have to date them and won’t be able to keep track of who he told what to. He’ll be sure to ruin his lie.

    You keep me laughing too!! 😀


  10. Dear Russell,

    Reading this weeks and was captured by your title for last weeks so I read it and am still laughing. I was wondering whether anyone would notice the resemblance of the guy in the piano to the late, great Payne Stewart. Great story. Now, moving back up your page to the subject at hand.




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