Two in the Bush

I’d like to begin this week’s post by wishing my fellow Americans “Happy Independence Day!” We are blessed to live in a nation where people can openly express their views (unless they’re politically incorrect) without fear of retribution.

If you’ve watched television more than 30 minutes in the past month, you know that sex is very important to Americans, especially our elected officials who have an extremely tough time keeping their hands out of other people’s pants. Thanks to medical technology, seniors can activate their own “stimulus package” well into their golden years. Uncle Sam had this to say about his sexual prowess on the eve of this 237th birthday, “I may not be as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.”

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Grand Marshall of our parade is the fabulous Niagara Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF “Hollywood Squares” author seating chart click here.

copyright David Stewart
copyright David Stewart

Harlan Hawk III never let a little thing like concern for the environment stand between him and money. His appreciation for nature was based upon the number of dollars he could harvest by raping the landscape of its natural resources.

Recently, a couple of “tree huggers” began crying foul, publicly accusing him of destroying the red-iron forests of the Northwest. Robin and Phoebe Warbler even held a sit-in on one of the giant behemoths to draw media attention.

Harlan wasn’t concerned. He had Senator Carrion Crow tucked in his pocket, giving him an advantage over those two in the bush.

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28 thoughts on “Two in the Bush

  1. Barrump-BUMP! Pssh! I think I saw those characters in either Animal House or One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

    I have said this to other writers about their stories, but as to the introductions, no. SO … Russell, your very INTRO gave me a great WTF Literary Moment.

  2. Dear Harlan,

    So many things come to mind to say, but as they’re all politically incorrect I’ll keep them to myself. 😉 I don’t know which was more entertaining, your intro or your story. Let’s call it a draw. I’m going outside now to hug a tree. Happy Independence Day!

    Shalom,

    Niagra

  3. Me and the Senator have something in common though hopefully Harlan Hawk is nowhere around in my case. Great job both on the story and the opening! Uncle Sam line is terrific and I hope to steal it sometime when your back is turned.

  4. I’m torn between story and intro but I, as Rochelle, am politically incorrect and undoubtely commenting not only on your story but in the annals (or something very similar) of the NSA as well, so I shall leave it at saying I enjoyed both.

    She-who-must-not-be-named

  5. A crow in the pocket is worth ten on the roof, as they say in Denmark. And I’m imoressed by the technical erection Mr Hawk’s minions are using to get those warblers down from the red-iron forests!

  6. I loved your opening commentary and am nominating it for the official Pre-ramble to the preamble to the constitution. I want to visit the Red Iron forests someday. Now that they’ve gotten rid of all the bushes, I hear it’s better for the en vi ron ment! — This was a whole lot of fun!! 😀

  7. Senator Carrion Crow–the perfect name for today’s politician: a raucous loudmouth who feeds on the decaying flesh of his increasingly disenfranchised constituency. (Sorry, woke up mad at the state of the world this AM.)

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