Hans Solo – Act 1

You may have heard the oft quoted line, “Life is a stage.” But when reviewing MY performance one spectator remarked, “You should to be on the stage. There’s one leaving in five minutes.” While that joke may be as old as the American West, there are still plenty of public transportation options available when running a comedian out of town.

There’s a fine line between being funny and being offensive. The trick is to determine exactly where that line is and get as close as possible without going over. Should the audience feel their humor trust has been broken, they’ll dump the once-funny offender and find another jester who can tickle their funny bone without causing a rash to break out on their backside. Like the old adage says, “Everyone likes a little ass, but nobody likes a smart ass.”

And that, my friends, concludes this week’s lesson on how not to write comedy.

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, let me introduce you to one person who will never let you down or violate your trust as a faithful reader, the director of our world-wide weekly production, the effervescent Chi Chi Von Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Sandra Crook
copyright – Sandra Crook

Hans was ecstatic when his agent called to inform him of the upcoming engagement.

“Finding gigs for Aerophone players is tough,” said the agent. “You got lucky. This is a very influential crowd. If this show turns out well, expect to have a lot more bookings.”

Hans practiced day and night, fine tuning his performance.

After the show, socialite snob and gossip columnist, Florence Dubois, was quoted as saying, “His tiny instrument left me totally unfulfilled.”

To which Hans replied, “I would have brought a bigger organ if I knew I was going to be playing an amphitheater.”


Thank you for staying with me all the way to the end on this one. I will be slow responding to comments and visiting blogs with weekend as I will be attending Ozark Creative Writers conference in Eureka Springs, AR this Friday and Saturday. Hopefully, I’ll learn something that will make my writing a little more entertaining. 🙂

25 Comments on “Hans Solo – Act 1

  1. haha ^^ loved this.
    also, i always love reading your introductions as much as i love the stories. and that is why i try not to make too many jokes, cos when i do, someone’s gonna get offended. 🙂


  2. Dear Hans,

    According to my Google search, Aerophones come in all shapes and sizes. Hmmmm. I won’t go there. Loved your instrumentation. As always, your intro and story both have me laughing.


    Chi Chi


  3. Your posts are consistently inspired and entertaining salutes to the goofball. I am sure Groucho Marx would have given this one his seal of approval, if not a flick of his cigar ash.


  4. WOW. I would have brought a bigger organ… you know, I think I’ve heard that line before in a different context.


  5. Hi Russell,
    You have to keep in mind that the Christ of the Ozarks will be gazing down at you all weekend. I hope He isn’t too horrified. I know you’re a musician, so I’m assuming this story is from your own experience. Ron


  6. I am in Jerusalem right now and read your story …

    The Wailing Wall just got renamed!!!

    Funny stuff once again, maestro. May all Aerophones be played with better fingering.


  7. Dear Russell,

    There’s a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning and you’re nowhere close to church. Do you know what a Shakuhachi is? I bet you play a mean one.

    Great story. Good luck at the conference. Hope you can get some work done in between regaling your audiences with your aerophone melodies.




  8. How was your writers conference? I attended my first one in September, and enjoyed the camaraderie.
    Entertaining read, as always!


  9. I’m laughing. Not at your story – yet – but I just realised I got you mixed up with somebody else and wrote something that will be utterly uninteligible as he doesn’t live in the Ozarks! Anyway I enjoyed your risque story. The risk paid off!


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