Open House

As a kid, I watched The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show religiously. What a great cast of characters, especially Boris and Natasha. One of my favorite segments was “Fractured Fairy Tales.” At the time, I never thought about the writers who created the story line, but looking back, I realize what a sick bunch of twisted individuals they must have been, and the impact they had on my young, impressionable mind.

Now, it’s fifty years later and you poor souls (my faithful readers) are being exposed to the fallout from the nuclear explosions that happened in my brain so long ago. I’m not apologizing, mind you, just a little background information for those of you who studied psychology in college.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Fairy Godmother of our weekly tales is Queen Lurline Wisoff-Fields.  If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Adam Ickes
copyright – Adam Ickes

“Hello, I’m calling about the cottages for rent.”

“Yes, Ma’am. We have two units available.”

“Where are they located?”

“These are portable units. You can lease a space from us, or set them up on your own lot.” 

“They sound nice, but I’m a single mother with a large family. I’m not sure I can afford it.”

“Don’t worry Ma’am. There’s government funding available to help elderly women in your situation, and the more children the better.”

“My kids won’t eat their broth. Any suggestions?”

“Spank them soundly and put ‘em to bed.”

“Shoe Apartments sounds like a perfect fit.”

 

Advertisements

34 Comments on “Open House

  1. Hi Russell,
    No need to apologize to me. Like you, I was a fan of Rocky and Bullwinkle and also Fractured Fairy Tales. I still like to write parody. So we are completely simpatico in this area. As for your story this week, if the shoe fits . . . Ron

    Like

  2. Russell, I would like to join. Mike has a URL and I’ve already written a 100 word story. If this is right – and you did ask me to join – I would LOVE it! Thanks, Reply if you want. Nan

    Like

    • That would be cool, Nan. Go to Rochelle’s site (Queen Lurline link above). Her instructions will walk you through it step by step. Be sure and add your link on the InLinkx page (the little blue critter) so that others can click on it and be led to your story.

      Like

  3. Oh boy! Russell, it’s way too early in the morning for me to be groaning in agony. You truly are a master of the unexpected. I also loved Rocky and Bullwinkle and Fractured Fairy Tales. The Fairy Book Master would be proud of you 🙂

    Like

  4. “Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!” “Sorry, wrong hat.” That’s what my life has been like too. I think in some ways watching Rocky and Bullwinkle was meant to prepare us for life far better than Captain Kangaroo ever did. And R & B influenced so much that came after. Think Peabody and Sherman where the dog is the smart one and then fast forward to Peter Griffin and Brian. Now for your fractured fairy tale, Russell, don’t refer to any character as elderly who’s probably younger than us! Or me anyway. I’m not ready for Shoe Apartments. Unless they have the Hallmark Channel.

    Like

    • I contemplated using the word “senior” instead of elderly. I know you prefer the term “boomer,” but it doesn’t roll off the tongue well when you say, “There was a boomer who lived in a shoe.”

      Like

  5. Dear Bullwinkle,

    Don’t forget Dudley Doright and Little Nell. “Get Moose and Squirrel.” I’ll take an apartment in a size 15 D width. “Illie beanie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak.”

    Thanks for the trip down memory lane. Another R & B fan here. I hear the voice of Edward Everett Horton now. Ahhhhhhh.

    Shalom,

    Queen Lurline or “Your Majesty” will suffice. 😉

    Like

    • Thank you, Adam. And thanks for the photo. All I could think of when I saw it was The Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe, so I ran with it.

      Like

  6. Hello, remember me, black Celestine from way down Africa? I’m lost here. But not so lost that I cannot appreciate your story. A great one! 🙂 Incidentally, there is a nice nursery rhyme in one of our local dialects based on ‘The Old woman who Lived in the Shoe.’!!!

    Like

    • I sure do, thanks for stopping by. You may not be familiar with Rocky & Bullwinkle, but I’m glad you recognized where I was going with the nursery rhyme.

      Like

  7. Rocky and Bullwinkle – ah, how I loved that show! Rocket J. Squirrel – lol. Wasn’t there a boy named Sherman and a dog named Professor Peabody? And what about the way-back machine… or something similar. Thanks for a ‘blast from the past’ – good memories of sitting in front of the parents’ old black-and-white TV with my kid sister. It was always fun to hiss at Snidely Whiplash!

    Like

  8. Another clever one, Russell. I bet the old woman just put them to bed because she didn’t know what to do! I don’t remember all the names mentioned here, but they sure are great ones!

    Like

  9. Though am not familiar with this show(American?) I did come across the phrase “fractured fairy-tale” this very week in one of the entries and looked it up.However,being fed nursery rhymes in my childhood and later feeding them in turn to my daughter made me see the picture perfectly and enjoy this tale thoroughly dear Russel-thanks for the laughs,as always:-)

    Like

  10. You and I were of a similar mindset this week, nursery rhymes/fairy tales. I enjoyed your take on the prompt. Living in a shoe sounds better in your story. “The more children the better,” no one has ever been accused of saying that, I think. 🙂

    Like

  11. Thanks for sharing – that was neat -fun to shop there

    Quoting Ann James :

    Like

I'd love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Mandie Hines Author

Horror, Psychological Thrillers, Flash Fiction, and Poetry

The Phantom Rem

Stories From Within

Lorna's Voice

Finding ways to make words sparkle

The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose

This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.

Sharing sarcasm, snark, and satire with the world...

Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

Problems With Infinity

Confessions of a Delusional Maniac

ParkInkSpot

I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.

TheDustSeason

All the Blogging That's Fit To Print

www.immodiumabuser.com

AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.

Dimitris Melicertes

I don't write, I touch without touching.

Lame Adventures

A Humor Blog

Linda Vernon Humor

Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind

TALES FROM THE MOTHERLAND

Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!

Lori Ericson, Author

An author's perspective of mystery and more.

The Best Things in Life

And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.

%d bloggers like this: