It Rolls Down Hill

You’ve read the title and I know what you’re thinking–shame on you!

But then . . . what if you’re right?

The Great Premise of a good many stories is the burning question, “What if?”In this week’s tale, I once again dip into that endless well of 1960’s American television to pluck a well-known family for your personal entertainment

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Executive Producer of this “Play on 100 words” is Cuzin’ Pearl Wisoff-Fields.  If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF  Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright - Bjorn Rudberg
copyright – Bjorn Rudberg


“Well Granny, what do you think of our new summer home in the Swiss Alps?”

“Hmpf, we’re hill people, Jed, not mountain goats. You need one leg longer than the other or you’d fall down just going to the mailbox. Then there’s that crazy woman down the hill hollerin’ ‘Yo-da-la-ee-hoo’ all day long.”

“That’s called yodeling, Granny. It’s how Swiss girls try to attract a man.”

“Who’s she trying to catch, Tarzan of the Jungle? I know why they call her Heidi. You could hide a truck behind that girl.”

“Be nice, Granny. Lately, the yodeling has become a mix of giggles and hiccups.”

“Maybe some rheumatiz medicine accidently leaked into her water supply.”

37 Comments on “It Rolls Down Hill

    • Well, it’s quite a culture shock to move from the Ozarks to Beverly Hills, then onto the Swiss Alps. Thank God, she took her rheumatiz medicine with her.


  1. accidently eh? 🙂 im sure granny had nothing to do with it ^^ loved this, every line’s hilarious.


  2. Naturally, when I think of the Beverly Hillbillies, my mind goes to the Jane Hathaway character played by the iconic Nancy Kulp. Even at the tender age of six, I knew she was not the garden variety spinster, probably because I could sniff the scent of lavender.


    • Whoever picked the cast for that show did a great job, especially with Miss Jane and Milburn Drysdale. You must have turned six during the reruns several years later.


  3. Very clever, Russell–a couple more of your episodes on the Fictioneers and you’ll have the Tinseltown execs getting the Hillbilly set out of mothballs.


  4. What’s really funny is that I don’t think Adam knows what you’re talking about. I think he’s thinking it’s Granny Smith as in apples. Incidentally have you seen Ellie Mae lately? She looks worse that the pig-faced characters in the Twilight Zone episode she starred in prior to the Hillbillies. But that means maybe you and me have a shot!


  5. That Granny is pretty sneaky and quite snarky! I love the part about needing a longer leg. I think you might feel quite lopsided walking on a hillside all the time! Really funny, as always.


  6. Dear Jed,

    Me and Jethrine is thinking it’s time for a visit. Them Swiss Alps sound mighty invitin’. Maybe you can convince that Heidi girl to marry my boy. What girl can resist a brain surgeon? Always enjoy your stories. See ya soon.


    Cuzin Pearl


  7. Ahh, yes, I remember that show with great fondness and much hilarity. Good one, Russ. Are you coming to OWL in a few weeks? If so, I’ll see you there again.



  8. Hahahaha! I could actually HEAR those Clampetts in that dialogue. According to Dr. Will Miller, it’s the most dysfunctional family on TV … Jed is withdrawn, Granny has a substance abuse problem, Elly May likes her critters more than getting a man and Jethro is … well, PSYCHOTIC.


  9. Having grown up on reruns of The Beverly Hillbillies I could hear the entire dialogue in Jed and Granny’s voices and I can’t hep but wonder if the giggling has anything to do with Jethro.


  10. Go Granny! Another great offering for our edification and delight. You never cease to amaze me Mr. Gayer 😀


  11. “Who’s she trying to catch, Tarzan of the Jungle? I know why they call her Heidi. You could hide a truck behind that girl.” Ha!ha!Though I have not had the privilege of watching this tv serial but the characters seem totally hilarious. 😀


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