Russell Gayer, author speaker
Halloween is upon us and the question on everyone’s lips is, “What’s up with those ‘FUN SIZE’ candy bars?” For decades, we’ve been fed the age-old mantras of size matters and bigger is better. Looks like we’ve finally come full circle—less is now more.
This is great news for those who were on the far side of the galaxy when God was dishing out physical endowments. Parts of the anatomy that were once referred to as little, too short, or small can now be classified as FUN SIZE. Those of you who are single may want to update your on-line profile.
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Apprehension gnawed at Judi as she approached the café.
“Steve’s a great guy who loves science,” her BFF and wanna-be matchmaker, Wanda, had said.
Someone bumped into Judi from behind.
“Oops, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” The man’s voice was deep and strong, yet friendly.
It’s my fault,” she stammered. “I shouldn’t be standing in the aisle.” The scent of his cologne wafted over her shoulder, teasing her senses.
“Are you looking for someone?”
“Yes. We’re supposed to meet here.”
“You must be Judi.” She turned, but saw no one.
Steve laughed. “Wanda didn’t tell me you were invisible. What a coincidence.”
Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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Ha ha! Now that’s a real blind date. Will he be able to change them back, since he’s into science and everything? Fabulous take. I’m coming up empty-handed with this one.
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They might not want to go back. At least neither are been judged based on their looks. Empty Handed sounds like a great title to go with this prompt.
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Dear Steve,
If you’re both invisible looks shouldn’t be an issue. 😉 Now that’s what I call a blind date. BTW…I used to be short now I refer to myself as FUN SIZE.
Shalom,
QOD Howling Wolf
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You many be short in stature, but your influence casts a giant shadow.
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Great story, Russell! If only you and I were invisible, we’d attract a lot more women.
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yes, but they’d probably see our silhouette when we fart and run away screaming.
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Ha! An invisible pair–much like the folks in the chairs in this week’s prompt. I’m just wondering where the third guy is and whether they will discover him before or after he eats all the appetizers they order.
Fun stuff!
Cheers!
MG
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Good point, Marie Gail. I hope it’s not one of those ‘love triangles.’
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Russell, my husband thinks I’m crazy for sitting in my writing “clubhouse” laughing to myself but I’m not. I’m laughing not only at your fun story but the Halloween introduction. You just bring out the lighter side. Thank you. Like Rochelle I’m now FUN SIZE and find that more appealing than being short and getting shorter!
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I think FUN SIZE is a great thing. You husband is very fortunate. Glad it gave you a laugh, Alicia.
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I was set up on a blind date once with a guy who was actually blind. I had no idea. Funny story. I think invisibility would be an awesome super power. I too will refer to myself from now on as FUN SIZE. Happy Halloween, Russell.
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Wow, I bet that was interesting. You need to write about it sometime. You were invisible to him. Imagine how he used his four other senses to get a mental image of you.
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Russell, Your mind has wandered down one of those strange winding paths again. Perhaps it was following the “less is more” people whose minds seem to have wandered also. 😀 Hilarious. The advertising companies are trying to fool us into believing that the cereal box that is only half full is actually full, etc. They can’t fool the kids at Halloween. They just go to more houses. 🙂 — Susan
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Writing 100 word stories is a good exercise in “less is more.” Companies have been downsizing packaging for 50 years. I remember when you could buy one-pound and three-pound cans of coffee. Now, they’re each about 2/3 of that and cost four times as much. I guess that’s what marketing is all about.
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Ha, “blind date” indeed 🙂
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No preconceived notion based upon looks.
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Suzanne said it far better than I could ever think “Your mind has wandered down one of those strange winding paths again.” A brilliant piece once more, Russell.
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I don’t know about brilliant, but the invisibility angle was the first thing that popped in my mind when I saw the empty chairs. Imagine the possibilities?
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much better than being a fly on the wall. Think of the secrets and truths you could learn 😀
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Dear Russell,
I love the way you sprinkled clues throughout this story. They don’t have to wear clothes, do they? He should take her paint balling on their second date. Good work and Happy Halloween.
Aloha,
Doug
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Steve and Judi will have to get to know each other by touch, which could be quite interesting.
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You had me laughing before the story on this one. Fun Size! That’s hilarious! I think I’ve had a blind date I wished was invisible. LOL!
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Yeah, blind dates are like a box of chocolates . . .
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I loved this – very funny! I was going to correct the missing noun after ‘Judi’s’ but having got to the end of the story, I guess I don’t need to!
Claire
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it originally read “Judi’s stomach,” but then I edited to try to get to 100 words (think I’m at 104) and forgot to delete the apostrophe s. Thanks for catching that, Claire. It’s fixed now.
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Oh, I thought it was deliberate – since Judi’s stomach couldn’t be seen!
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Good point. I wonder if Steve has a beer gut?
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Very funny – so that’s why the chairs aren’t straight. I wonder who was sitting in the thrid one eavesdropping?
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Steve’s mother is keeping an eye on her boy. No telling what kind of girl that Judi is.
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You hit it out of the park with this post, Russell! Love it! If only Kim and Kanye would follow Judi and Steve’s lead. I am sure that many people see Fun Size as an excuse to eat half the bag, or to have Too Much Fun.
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Well, as the old Commander Cody song said, “I ain’t ever had too much fun.”
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LOL 😀 What a twist. Maybe they can find themselves over a cup of orange juice 🙂 Loved it.
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or find each other.
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Bwah ha ha ha! Love it 🙂
And your suggestion about Fun Size is priceless
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Hope you find it useful, Carrie.
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Growing up i loved to watch old black and white movies. One of my favorites was The Invisible Man. Perfect story for this time of year. Abbott and Costello would be proud.
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why, thanks, Dawn. What a nice thing to say. I’m flattered.
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I’m glad another minority group is finally being acknowledged. Why should the invisible be overlooked? Good for you! Funny story too.
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I wonder if they stage an equal rights march. It would be fun to see all those signs bobbing up and down in mid-air.
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Dear Russell, Once again, you have tickled my funny bones! You are such a hoot and this is a great story! I’m impressed! Love it – happy Halloween. Nan 🙂
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Thanks, Nan. It was just a little ‘fun size’ tale.
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Well thank heaven they’re clumsy as well as invisible, or they might never had bumped into each other. Great take on the prompt and I love your new (and better) interpretation of fun size.
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What an excellent idea — blind dates bumping into each other. The fragrance of his cologne must have distracted others, though, as he passed by, invisibly.
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like a fart in a whirlwind?
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