I think everyone ought to spend the night in jail at least once. It teaches a lesson in humility and gives you a whole new appreciation for many of the things we take for granted—like toilet paper. You also learn how to sleep with one eye open and that not all Asians are good at math.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the warden of the Grammar Correctional Facility for Wayward Writers is Bernice “The Baton Bearer” (or B.B., as we like to call her) Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
(to be read with a British accent)
Good evening, I’m Robin Leach.
Welcome to Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous. Tonight we’ll take a behind the scenes look at celebrities serving hard time at the Ritz-Carlton Correctional Facility in beautiful Sun Valley, California.
Our hostess, that divine Diva in Orange, Martha Stewart, will share the secrets of designing a proper table setting in such squalid conditions.
After dinner, Robert Downey Jr. will give us the dope on which prison pharmaceuticals to avoid.
Then, we’ll join Bernie Madoff for the pros and cons of insider trading inside the joint.
And finally, Mike Tyson will tease the senses by nibbling your ear before saying goodnight.
Stay with us, won’t you.
And that’s not all. My publisher is offering a special deal on the Kindle edition of “The Perils of Heavy Thinking.” Between now and February 14th (the sly dog) you can order this fun filled tome for the ridiculously low price of only $.99. That’s right. Better than a Big Mac, more satisfying than sex, and won’t rot your teeth. Just click on the title and place your order.