I’ve always admired people who had wise quotations attributed to their name. The trick is to say something clever enough that others would care to repeat it and credit the author. Here are some examples of words of wisdom people have imparted to me.
- “Sit down and shut up!” ~ Mrs. Sticklebottom (elementary school teacher)
- “Absolutely not! Get away from me, you creep.” ~ Debra Jones (my first crush)
This got me thinking about how selfish I’d been by not sharing my wealth of wit and wisdom. Here are a couple of my more famous sayings, followed by one that’s yet to catch on. Feel free to quote me on any of these.
- “My nouns and verbs don’t always agree. Fistfights have been known to break out in mid-sentence.”
- “The last time I opened my trench coat to expose myself to knowledge, knowledge not only laughed—it impolitely pointed AND laughed.”
- “Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Make the most of it.”
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the building inspector who issues permits for 100 word stories is Electra “Shock Therapy” Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
The first seven weeks of winter had been brutal. Meteorologist searched as far back as records had been kept, but failed to find lower temperatures for an extended period of time.
“It’s the new ice age,” declared Hal Bore, a proponent of Global Warming.
But one man had a plan. Master Electrician, Ole Peterson, invented a giant, infrared heat lamp with enough power to warm the entire upper mid-west.
At dawn on February 2nd he was about to flip the switch when his partner, Sven, pulled the plug.
“Not today, Ole. Ve don’t vant de groundhog to see his shadow.”