Several years ago, which I was much younger and even more immature, Luis Rivera and I decided to sing our version of some holiday classics over the print shop intercom. We entertained co-workers with a rousing rendition of “Rudolf the Brown-Nose Reindeer,” the tale of a despicable suck-up who was ostracized for ratting-out other reindeer.
Luis held a special penchant for girls with large derrieres and insisted we sing his personal favorite, “Wide Christmas.” The opening line went something like this, “I’m dreaming of a Wide Christmas, just like that girl I used to know…”
I’d love to hear your favorite fractured holiday song. Please include the lyrics in your comments so we can all sing along.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the conductor of this choir of writers (who insists we type in 4-part harmony) is Soprano Dianna Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to take a stab at this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Jack dreamed of being a loser. His father was a loser, his grandfather a loser, and the family expectation weighed heavily upon his shoulders.
The problem was, he couldn’t fail. In fact, he excelled at everything. Music, sports, mathematics, even literature, they all came easy. He put forth no effort and intentionally selected wrong answers to lower his scores. Nothing worked.
“Jack’s the only person,” lamented his father, “who can screw up screwing up.”
He decided to ask Felicity Warbucks to the prom. Surely, she would turn him down.
Felicity smiled. Another window of opportunity fled through the portal of disappointment.