It’s “Back to School” time in our neck of the woods this week, which means that sometime in the next two to three weeks, school administrators will send the little rug rats home with some type of sign-up sheet known as a fundraiser.
The idea is that the captive sales force (primarily the parents) will strong-arm friends, family, and co-workers into spending $16 for 4-ounces of cookie dough or $12 for a shoebox of stale, cheese-flavored popcorn. Where the profit goes is anybody’s guess. The child whose family sells the most gets a plastic gold star, and the principal whose school raises the most money gets a new Lexus. Everybody wins!
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“Folks, this is the little starter home I told you about. It was built in 2012, features several compartments for a growing family, has numerous flower gardens nearby filled with juicy caterpillars, and is only a short flight from the entertainment district.”
“I don’t know,” said Wanda. “I was hoping for something with more of a view.”
“Just look at this rock work, Ma’am. Beautiful, smooth, shiny stones, and running water just outside your door.”
“Are there many humans nearby?” asked Warren.
“Yes, only two minutes from a golf course.”
“What do you think, Wanda?”
“Perfect. We’ll take it.”