I was looking over my grandson’s homework (third grade) on Tuesday and discovered the little rug rats are dissecting sentences. Now, this might be cute if it were frogs, rats, or blocks of Limburger cheese. But sentences? Gross!
These poor nine-year-olds are expected to identify nouns, verbs, adjectives, conjunctions, and prepositions. Stuff I didn’t learn until my third year at writers critique group (age fifty-four). Maybe they’re trying to teach these children the evils of writing at an early age, but one thing’s for certain, no good can come of it.
If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, the Queen of Pronouns, who has more aliases than the entire cast of America’s Most Wanted, is Ann Fisher Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To view the writers on a wire in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
“Well, Stephen, I bet you’re glad to be back in school with all your little friends.”
“I’m in Junior High now, Grandma. We’re considered young adults.”
“Oohh, I see. What courses are they teaching these days?”
“Mostly boring stuff like calculus, problem solving, and innovative thinking. But I did sign up for one elective.”
“You mean like art, music, or sports?”
“No, it’s a retro class that deals with basic domestic skills.”
“That sounds interesting. How do you like it so far?”
“The instructor is nice, but right now the class is just sew, sew.”
Welcome to Home Economics 101. This week your instructor, Mr. C.E. Ayr, will be teaching the class how to deal with unwanted guests.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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