The ?FoneIX and MeTube

I’ve just returned from Little Rock where Dr. John Dornhoffer laid over my right ear and replaced my pea-sized brain with one the size of a marble.

So far, the results have been fantastic (except for the excessive rattling). My muse has returned full force and my wit is sharper and stronger than ever as evidenced by the story below. Now, it is with all modesty and humility I can confidently proclaim to the world that I am indeed “sharp as a marble.”

If you are new to Friday Flash Fiction, our straight-shooter of 100-word stories is Cateye Aggie Wisoff-Fields. To learn how to participate in this weekly exercise in madness, head over to her blog for instructions. To rent a box in the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Jan Wayne Fields

White House Spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced the rollout of a new presidential social media site known as MeTube. The site will be an exclusive feature of the ?FoneIX released by Trump industries later this week.

“This is a YUGE win,” tweeted the President. “With the Why-Phone-Nine and MeTube app, Americans can now read my thoughts before I even tweet them.

“Plus, it’s constructed entirely from recycled materials at our plant in Leavenworth, Kansas by a couple of out of work Americans, namely Obama and Crooked Hillary.

“A gazillion people are camped out on the White House lawn waiting to get theirs.”

40 Comments on “The ?FoneIX and MeTube

  1. Dear Had Churley,

    Metube sounds about right…or alt right or alt left or Alt-Ctrl-Delete. So let’s all tweet like the birdbrains do. Glad you’re proctologist knew what he was doing. (What’s worth hearing these days anyway?) I’m sure we’ll all get ours in the end. 😉 Happy to see you amongst the squares.


    Cateye Aggie W(T)F

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Cateye Aggie,

      Only $1.65 billion? Pocket change compared to what MeTube will sell for.
      The doctor said my surgery was a 95% success. I asked for two marbles, but he was afraid it would make me too smart for my own good. Then I might go into politics.

      Had Churley

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m undecided about the usefulness of the new phone. Would I really want to know what the Chief Officer is thinking? We Canadians have long memories and are still a bit miffed at what Nixon thought of our beloved PM P E Trudeau. (The water gate should have let that one wash downstream without a public hearing.) Mind you, if people had known what was on Nixon’s mind back then…

    Seriously, all the built-in insinuations in your announcements had me in twitters. You’re hillaryous, sir! Leavenworth, eh? Probably waiting for a grass-roots revolution to sweep them back into Fort Nox, DC.

    As to the gazillion people, don’t forget to subtract the hundreds who are camped at the Canadian border as we speak, asking for refugee status. They’d love to know which way the ball’s going to bounce, but they’re not waiting for the phone call.

    Liked by 3 people

    • My, you do have a longer memory. We didn’t call him Tricky Dick for nothing. The guy was a snake. It always mystified me why he thought he needed to cheat in an election he was going to win by a landslide anyway.

      Thanks for picking up on the Clinton/Obama reference. Trump has done more to improve their images in past six months than they did on their own in the past eight years.

      The gazillion people is the estimate Trump put on the number attending his inauguration, when in fact it was closer to thirty-four–all of whom he paid to show up.

      Liked by 3 people

  3. I feel like an observer, wondering (much like the Haitian immigrants now at our border asking for refugee status in Canada) which way the ball’s going to bounce.
    It really intrigues me how it came about that two unpopular people, both of questionable principles/skills/wisdom, could be the only two choices for President of the US. Which leads to the next thing I wonder about. If President Trump should say, “You’re such an ungrateful nation, I can’t do anything to please you. I’m throwing in the towel” — as most people seem to want him to — who would step up and take control? And where were they last year when the race was on?
    Just hypothetical questions.

    Liked by 3 people

    • It’s not a job a normal, sane person would want. You have to be an egotistical, power-hungry lunatic. Many of the people who voted for him don’t read newspapers (or books, or magazines for that matter), watch the news, or make any attempt to become informed on real issues. They quickly jump on the band wagon of emotional issues such as abortion, gun control, and illegal immigration. They fall in line with whatever the propaganda machine tells them to believe, think, and feel. And personally, I don’t see that changing.

      I agree with Tracey, these are strange and dangerous times.

      Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve visited your Baja Kitchen a few times. The food looks fantastic, although I’ve yet to whip up one of those recipes. Perhaps I’ll get to it in the next week while I’m recovering from ear surgery.

      Like you, I could do with less Trump.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Ha! What a terifying thought, actually looking into that man’s head. But surely MeTube is unnecessary? He already spills his brains, day and night into the Twittersphere. Made me smile, Russ … and grimace 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s sadly true he doesn’t have me full attention at the moment – I get distracted by work, family … writing. Not sure what I’ll end up scribbling if he’s talking in my ear all day. But it might have to be censored before I can put it on the blog!


  5. If you’re going to go political, this is the way to do it!
    Laughs abound as per usual
    Am extremely happy to find you well after surgery! xo

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well, since your current ‘leader’ claims to have the bestest brain and wants to be the smartest, having a marble in your head is not the worst choice in comparison. I consider the news that he *thinks* as fake news. Fun and horrifying story, Russel, and I wish you well.


I'd love to hear from you

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Mandie Hines Author

Poetry, Horror, Psychological Thrillers

The Phantom Rem

Stories From Within

Lorna's Voice

Finding ways to make words sparkle

The Incoherent Ramblings Of A Moose

This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.

Sharing sarcasm, snark, and satire with the world...

Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields-Addicted to Purple

Growing older is inevitable. Growing up is optional.


I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.


All the Blogging That's Fit To Print


Lame Adventures

A Humor Blog

Linda Vernon Humor

Stylistically Abusing Language for the Betterment of Mankind


Straight up with a twist– Because life is too short to be subtle!

Lori Ericson, Author

An author's perspective of mystery and more.

The Best Things in Life

And the worst things. And all that weird stuff in between.

%d bloggers like this: