Recently, I’ve started humming a lot. Connie says I didn’t do that before my hearing loss accident. She did some research on the intranet and evidently there’s a name for my condition; Musical Ear Syndrome.
Some people hear Symphonies, Rock & Roll, Country, or Gospel. So far, there are no reports of people hearing Rap (that would be a living hell). While my condition may be a little annoying to others, they can always change the channel just by giving my ear a twist.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the little keyboard tap dancer who hosts our 100-word ditties is Curly Templestein Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
One advantage of bellybutton lint farming is the entire crop can be grown and harvested without the aid of expensive farm implements. You don’t have to worry about drought, floods, or swarms of locusts. Occasionally, a dog tick might take up residence in your money-maker, but it’s nothing rubbing alcohol and tweezers can’t take care of.
According to the Old Farmer’s Almanac, the seasonal peak in North America occurs on Valentine’s Day. The additional belly-to-belly contact brought on by holiday celebrations has proven to stimulate lint production—providing participants keep their shirts on before, during, and after vigorous physical contact.
*the above is an excerpt from “The Ins & Outs of Bellybutton Lint Farming.” The complete story in available in my new book, One Idiot Short of a Village available on Amazon in paperback or Kindle.