What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
The Cereal Killer
Next Wednesday, September 12th, I’ll be attending a workshop entitled “How to Write Humor.” This event is sponsored by the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, more commonly known as OLLI. According to their course catalog, attendees are supposed to learn how to create characters with strong comedic perspectives, and how exaggeration and illogical comparisons are used to make things funny.
The course lasts for two hours and students will be provided worksheets to help them develop their own comic characters and tips on creating a story premise that keeps the audience in stitches. I hope to learn something useful from this class—after all, I am the instructor.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the classroom sketch artist who draws caricatures of the speakers during their presentations, is Allie Hirshfeld Wisoff-Fields.If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
The house on Snipe Lane made her fourth hit. She was starting to get quite a collection of Do-Not-Remove tags from the mattresses and furniture of the finest homes in Belton. Now, she had a container to display them in. The invisible box.
Her only complaint about today’s caper was the time and effort required to kill the Shredded Wheat. The box was almost full and it took a half-gallon of milk to drown the gurgling before it gave up the ghost and became listless beneath the stabbing of her spoon.
Shelley smiled. A good cereal dies a thousand deaths.
*the above is a snippet from Criminal Mimes
62 Comments on “The Cereal Killer”
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What's So Funny? 
Now that was as surreal, funny and as unexpected as it gets! Good luck with your course – I’m sure it’ll be brilliant. 🙂
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Anything involving a mime is surreal if you ask me. This one is a real sicko. How can anyone get such pleasure from murdering innocent cereal?
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Dear Silly Biskits,
A stirring story of the purple crested cereal killer. For Shelley’s next act, she’ll take the snap out of crackle and pop. Buahahahaha!
I have to share this video sent to me for my birthday.
Now where was I? Oh yes…counting the tags before hiding my invisible box.
Shalom,
Allie Hirshfeld W(T)F
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Dear Allie Hirshfeld W(T)F,
I’m sure there are millions boxes of cereal hiding in their cupboards right now praying that Shelley doesn’t find them. It must be horrible to be bludgeoned by a mime and then devoured. At least there won’t be any loud smacking.
Enjoyed the video. All that crew needed was an invisible box.
Let’s hope you don’t have more tags than fingers and toes.
Silly Biskits
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The crimes escalated quickly in this piece. 😂 Sounds like the workshop will be fun! You had me all the way to the end of that bit. You’ll be great as the instructor.
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Mimes can be quite devious, especially this one. But at least she has a clean digestive tract.
Glad you enjoyed the intro. The workshop will be a lot of fun.
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I wish I could attend your class! Excellent new mime story! 🙂
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I wish you could too, Morgaine. Let’s hope Detective Lowry can put an end to this mime crime spree.
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You’re quite mad. But I like you that way.
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Thank you, Sandra, for tolerating my antics.
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Drowning shredded wheat before stabbing it with a spoon is definitely the best thing to do with it. You shouldn’t eat it under any circumstances!
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I wouldn’t eat it either, but she does. That’s one sick mime.
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No cereal is safe while she’s out there! I just checked and our mattress tag is still on, its chastity still intact. I need a new security system. 😉
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Watch it closely. Bwahahahaha.
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I’ve not heard of chastity belts for Do-Not-Remove tags. It’s sounds like a great invention. You should patent them and market them on Amazon.
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Not sure if this is flaky or just corny.
I am amaized.
I can barley hide my rye grin.
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Oh, the whole grain puns just keep coming . . .
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all this killing, it’s just an excuse to go to the bathroom in a hurry. 🙂
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No constipation in the mime household. What’s scary is how much pleasure she takes in the killing.
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What I want to know is why she had to kill the Shredded Wheat. Did she really think it would talk? I mean come on… there’s not a shred of evidence that it would…
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A mime thinking a cereal would talk? Gee Dale, you’ve got an even more active imagination than I do.
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Just trying to get into your good graces…
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Actually Rice Crispies are more of a threat with all that snapping and crackling. Oy and then there’s pop. What’s a mime to do?
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True. It could grate on one’s nerves and one could claim to have been driven insane…
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I think perhaps next time she should try a different cereal…Lucky Charms?
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Shelley avoids an sugar-ladden cereal like a plague. Your Captain Crunch and Lucky Charms will always be safe around her.
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Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
Another free humorous twosome from humorist Russell Gayer. If you want more of the same, make a sharp turn to the panel on your right and click on the covers of Russell’s books. You can also help him by again reblogging this post. Thanks.
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Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙂
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I give credit to anyone who can make shredded wheat biscuits succumb. They are tough little suckers. All the best with your class. 😀 — Suzanne
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No cereal puns from me, loved the story.
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Cereal killer indeed. The poor shredded wheat, such a cruel fate.
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I know what you mean, Gabi. Chilling, isn’t it?
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Shredded Wheat needs to be shredded! Blech. I’m surprised a Metal band hasn’t been named Shredded Wheat.
Where is this workshop happening? I googled OLLI and I found so many places connected to it. Never heard of it before. Thanks for mentioning it.
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I agree. It would make a good name for a band.
The workshop is in Fayetteville, Arkansas. From what I gather, many major universities have OLLI Chapters. They offer a lot of interesting classes along with hikes and other outdoor activities.
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I say Cheerios to the shredded wheat, they deserved it anyway.
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I agree. The stuff has the texture and flavor of hay, but I suppose it keeps the plumbing clean.
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This post contains nuts.
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Yes. Sorry I forgot to add the allergen warning.
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Mattress tags and dead cereal. Huh. You know, I wish I could take that class. Too bad I’m all the way back east, and you’re all the way out west 🙂
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I wish you could join the class too. I think it will be fun.
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I’m sure of it.
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Excellent!
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Thanks, Lisa.
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Those Shredded Wheat are tenacious little things, hard to get rid of.
Hope you’re class goes well and you go home with lots of pats on the back, as well as whole load of new ideas to steal. 😉
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Shredded Wheat is definitely stubborn. Personally, I can’t choke the stuff down.
I hope to send the attendees home with loads of new ideas on how they can make their writing better–and funnier. We’ll see how it goes.
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Oh no! Not the Shredded Wheat! hahaha
I hope all goes very well with your course.
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Yes, the dreaded Shredded Wheat. Our little mime has the cleanest plumbing in Missouri.
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LOLOL … laughing until my stomach hurts.
ie: I agree with all who came before me. Funny !!!
Isadora 😎
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Thank you, Isadora. I’m grinning from ear to ear after reading your comment.
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Very entertaining. I hope you enjoy your course.
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Thank you, JoHawk. I’m looking forward to it.
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Ha… I wonder what kind of cereal is hardest to kill… my granola needs a lot of yogurt to succumb
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A lot of cereals become limp and soggy within seconds after adding milk, not Shredded Wheat or granola. Perhaps we should host a contest. I’m sure there are some other tough ones out there too.
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I think it’s nuts (that make the difference)
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Cracked me up!
You and Rochelle need to take your act on the road!
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Actually, we do get together at Ozark Writers League in Branson on a regular basis. You should join us sometime. We have a blast.
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Oh my…that would be a dream!
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Rochelle tells me, “You should be on the stage. I hear there’s one leaving in 5 minutes.”
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And they’re only old if you’ve heard them. Rrrrip. Tag, you’re it.
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Sounds like a good bit 😉
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This is the most violent account of cereal murder I’ve ever read (nope, I won’t tell ya how many I’ve read). 😄
Have fun at the workshop, with you being the instructor and all.
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I want to see the syllabus. I can use a little help. I’ll bring you an apple for the teacher!
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