Eyeful Tower

Today, I’d like to discuss “Old Wives Tales.” The question naturally arises, how old does a married woman have to be in order to meet the “Old Wife” criteria, and why are their tales so unreliable (i.e. – fake news)?

And why doesn’t anyone ever say, “That’s a Wise Husband Adage.” Perhaps its because Wise Husbands are simply too modest and humble to take credit for being accurate almost 30% of the time. Regardless of the statistics, I don’t recommend arguing with an “Old Wife.” It only leads to trouble and there’s no telling what kind of tale she’ll tell afterward. All Wise Husbands know when to shut up.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our resident expert on 100-word tales is Daisy “Granny” Moses Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Jilly Funell

Dale was intrigued by the construction project next to the shopping center.  The site swarmed with buff young men in tight jeans and sleeveless shirts. Beads of sweat glistened on their bronze arms as they went about their tasks.

“Hey girls,” she said. “Let’s climb the tower. It’s a beautiful day, eh? I’m sure the view is fantastic from there.”

Jilly agreed, but Shelley preferred to stay at ground level.

Afterwards they compared notes.

“That blond guy has the body of a Norse God.” Dale turned to Shelley. “What did you see?”

“A two-ton plumber bend over. It was an eyeful.”

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55 Comments on “Eyeful Tower

  1. There can’t be Wise Husband Adages – even you said it… the numbers are too low. As for the age the old wives must be? Best leave that alone.

    Poor Shelley.. she should learn to deal with her fear of heights…. Obviously the view was much better from above…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear C. Butt McCracken,

    It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see and some things can never be unseen. Perfect title. Wise old husbands? Feh! Perhaps you did find those missing paranormal stories after all. I’m calling Ronda to sic Gemma on you. Nuff said about your misguided imagery.

    Shalom,

    Daisy “Granny” Moses W(T)F

    Liked by 3 people

    • Dear Daisy “Granny” Moses W(T)F,

      It’s true that some things cannot be unseen, and Harry Crack-up is one of them.
      I’m sure Jan has shared many Wise Husbands (leave “old” out of this one) Adages with you. However, many wives instantly discount the wisdom because of the source. If an Old Wife said the same thing, it would immediately be accepted as gospel.

      Keep working on your tales,
      C. Butt McCracken

      Like

  3. Teehee! Whose dream was it, I wonder? The only builders I ever see have paunches! Not that it’s easy to find a builder in the UK these days.
    Good story, Russell!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s going to have me laughing for a while yet. I need to stop, because the next client I’m seeing in about 15 minutes has no sense of humor whatsoever. I don’t think I could explain this to her at all, poor thing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I feel sorry for those who have no sense of humor. What a miserable way to go through life. Think of all the joy and happiness they miss. Statistics have shown that people who laugh a lot live longer than those who don’t. I’m trying to do my part and bring a few smiles.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Musings on Life & Experience and commented:
    Another hilarious twofer from one of our favorite humorists. If you want more stories from Russell just swing to the right of the blog and click on either of the two book covers. If you want to help Russell, even more, you can reblog this post as I’ve done from your own blog. Thanks.

    Like

    • Well, as you know, I tend to skate on thin ice, C.E.
      I’m really surprised I haven’t caught more flack from some of the Old Wives over this one.

      Like

  6. The following is completely true;
    I know that tower quite well. I even know one of the construction workers. I shall comment no further to protect the innocent and my decency. My name is not Dale, Jilly or Shelley. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Love it! My hubby says the best advice he received in pre-marital counseling was the phrase “Yes, Dear.” It’s become a joke between us. On the other side… I almost wrecked the car last week when a road worker doffed his shirt… lol!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Builder’s Bum as we call it seems to be becoming more and more of common occurrence, I balme the tailors and fashionistas. They should take the rest of us into account in their designs and before selling to just anyone

    Like

  9. Oh why, oh why didn’t you include a trigger warning about the ending?? If you had, I would’ve stopped reading after Dale’s comment about “the body of a Norse god”. 😉
    Poor Shelley…

    Like

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