In effort to improve my wit and humor, my daughter gifted me a book entitled “The Insult Dictionary.” The good thing about these insults is that many of them go back hundreds of years, so when you use one, the party you’re addressing doesn’t even realize they’re being put down.
One of my favorites is; “Vice Admiral of the Narrow Seas.” Noun ~ A drunken man who urinates under the table on his companion’s shoes. Please share your favorite slanderous saying in the comment section.
If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, our resident expert on swimming up to your neck in 100-word tales is Doris Salacia Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise of madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the ensemble of practicing fic-titioners in the writers in FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.
Dear Ma & Pa,
Finding work in the big city ain’t easy. You cain’t talk to nobody about a job, you have to get on a computer and type in a bunch o’ stuff. But thanks to Cousin Audrey, I got on the government tit.
My boss is a senator from Arkansas. Right off, he gave me something called a security clearance. I’m supposed to keep my eyes and ears open and watch out for something called Liberals—they cause leaks.
Liberals must be worse than woodpeckers cause they got bowls sitting everywhere to catch the water.
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This is the blog of a woman who is seriously on the edge and I mean right ON the edge…no, not there… just a little bit further… further than that…no, further still…just a tiny bit more… just move slightly to the right a little…no, that’s too much…just move a tad to the left…that’s right, just there…now you’ve moved too far to the left… Damn, what part of the ‘on the edge’ do you not understand? Oh, and her matricidal boy genius, come devil spawn.
Or the three people I guilted into reading this blog, whatever.
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AS I TOLD THE GIRL THAT I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO, THANKS FOR LAUGHING AT ME HERE TODAY.
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