What's So Funny?
Russell Gayer, author speaker
The Night Before Yom Kippur
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Twas the night before Yom Kippur
and as sure as a bagel ain’t a donut
everyone was excited about the day of atonement
With Papa in his turtleneck
And Mama in her bunny shoes
Kicked back in their recliners like a couple of old Jews
Tomorrow they’d go to the synagogue and pray
And beg G_d to keep that evil mime away
As a further precaution, they strung up some garlic
Bought plastic gold crosses and consulted a psychic
But while they were out, their mattress tags were stolen
By that La Petite Voleuse, Shelley “Yom Kippur” Kohlen
25 Comments on “The Night Before Yom Kippur”
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What's So Funny? 
Shelley can be a criminal mime or your best friend, depending on how much garlic and how many gold crosses are involved! Nicely done.
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Yes, it doesn’t take many plastic trinkets to win her over, especially if you have a bottle of wine too.
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There may be allusions in this I didn’t get, but I understood enough it made me smile
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Yeah, it is kind of an inside joke.
Shelley (aka Rochelle) is the antagonist in the novel I’m writing, Criminal Mimes. Glad you still found something to chuckle about in the poem.
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Dear Detective Lowry,
All the repentance and garlic won’t keep your DNR tags safe. I have it on good authority. Shelley says to tell you leave the Apothic Crush by the door and she might think about affording you some mercy. I didn’t know you wrote poetry. Guess you decided to diVersify while on suspension. The invisible box is safe from your prying eyes. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go find that fork.
Permanently yours and shalom to Connie and my bestie, LIza Jane,
Shirley Temple W(T)F
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Dear Squirrelly Temple W(T)F,
No one will ever mistake me for Robert Browning. When I saw the garlic I figured it would lead to a bunch of vampire stories. What’s more scary than a vampire . . . a mime of course!
The pun on di-Verse-ify made me gag. Got the invisible box in my sights right now.
Detective Lowry
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Ha! I find that highly doubtful. As for the vampire stories…got that right. I should’ve known garlic would bring out the fang fiction.
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Teehee! A very productive venture into verse, Russell. You gave me a chuckle!
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Thanks, Penny. It’s always fun to take a jab at our wine-glass-painting Michaelangelina.
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Just remember what goes around often comes around in 100 words. 😉 L’chaim.
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Woe is me. 🙂 I anxiously await such foolishness.
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Made me LOL! I wonder if there a magick spell to foil the DNR Mime. More poetry, please!
#DNR
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Ha! Love the #DNR
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The mime and tag stealers memorialised in verse. Love it.
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Yes, Shelley will have plenty to seek atonement for.
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All that trouble and to be defeated by a mime! Oy vey, n’et-ce pas? 😂
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Oh well, at least now they have an adequate supply of gold colored plastic crosses.
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I’m a tad verklempt, Russell… Usually we get a two-fer. Oh well. Thank you for not writing about vampires. As for this, it read like a nursery rhyme! Lookit you, you talented one 😉
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I owe you one, Dale. I was short on time and the intro often takes longer to write than the 100 word story. Mimes are much scarer than vampires, and sneakier too. But at least they don’t bite.
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Okay then. I shall forgive you. Time is a difficult commodity sometimes.
Thank goodness they don’t!
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As poetry goes this is … well, I find myself lost for words.
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You’re too kind. I thought it fail miserably as a poem, but I was hoping the message still came through.
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Such fun poetry. I’ll bet there’s no one else anywhere who’s made up a funny poem about such a serious holiday!
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I bet you’re right, Linda. Forgiveness is a HUGE deal. We should all be thankful for it and practice forgiving others as well.
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Nice blog
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