The Forest of Disenchantment

Connie and I watch a lot talent shows, The Voice, America’s Got Talent, and American Idol. While most of these programs focus on music, there’s a wealth of unmined categories where contestants could exhibit their skills and for a shot at fame and fortune.

Besides the obvious – Outstanding Authors (where unknowns read their work to a panel of celebrity publishers), a plethora of lesser appreciated talents might provide some great entertainment. Here’s a few ideas, Scottish Grave Diggers, Canuck Canoe Carvers, Name That Wine, and the never popular Watching Watercolors Dry.

I’m sure you can think of a few more that would make television viewers reach for a barf bag. Please leave one or two suggestions in the comment section.

If you’re new to Friday Flash Fiction, the artist who splashes wine droplets on canvas and calls is “The Wrath of Grapes” is Georgette O’Keebler Wisoff-Fields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the FFF Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Liz Young
One day a group of Fictioneers went for a hike through The Forest of Disenchantment. Along the way they happened upon a strange looking tree.
“Do you think it’s the home of the Keebler Elves?” asked Keith.
“No,” Liz said, sampling a dry, tasteless cracker she found on the door stoop. “This cookie is awful.”
“Perhaps it’s a gnome house then,” Neil said.
“I doubt it. The door is too small.” Russell pointed to a tiny opening at the base. “I fear we’ve stumbled upon the lair of the infamous Purple Smurfmime. She’ll snatch the label right off your shirt.”

 

 

 

34 Comments on “The Forest of Disenchantment

  1. Residing in the Forest of Disenchantment for the last year, watching watercolours dry was my main entertainment. Do you think the Smurfmime can vote me out of this place?

    Liked by 2 people

    • I wouldn’t count on any help from the Smurfmime (unless you bribe her). Some really dry all-bran cereal might do the trick.

      If you haven’t already, perhaps you should order One Village Short of an Idiot and read “The Joys of Watching Paint Dry.” You’d find it exhilarating!

      Liked by 2 people

    • Don’t beat yourself up over it, Neil. A simple mistake. There’s only one Purple Smurfmime and she’s more elusive than Bigfoot (who’s a much larger target).

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Ernie Elf-Mocker,

    What a lovely day for a slosh in the drizzle in the Disenchanted Forest of Belton. Cookies, Biscuits and Crackers, oh my! Perhaps I should apply for America’s Got Talent. “DNR Tag Removal and Mime” Catchy, eh? And always remember a mime is a terrible thing to waste.

    Shalom and b’gorrah,

    Georgette O’Keebler W(T)F

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Georgette O’Keebler W(T)F,

      Perhaps next time we’ll write you into a twisted version of “The Wizard of Oz”. Won’t that be fun? I might even let you borrow Liza or Gracie for a supporting canine.

      I think the DNR Tag Removal Challenge has possibilities. However, it’s going to be tough to find competent judges.

      Chomping on a cardboard biscuit,
      Ernie Elf-Mocker

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There is of course, the category of the best Mime Detective Fiction (is it really there at all?). As for the Fictioneers, I’m glad they didn’t try to come into my house in the tree. Bothersome lot.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sorry, Dale. Not sure a midget would fit through that crack. Perhaps you could drink some shrinking potion (like Alice in Wonderland) and do the Purple Smurfmime tour. Don’t worry, the wine glasses are full size. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sure if they look carefully around they’ll find a bottle of ‘Drink Me’ lying around somewhere. Hopefully the antidote can be found within the Purple Smurfmine…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m here to tell you that grave-digging is only one discipline in the strenuous “assassins’ decathlon”.
    If I told you the other 7 (I’m a hit-man, not an accountant) I’d have to kill you in your choice of 11 different but painful methods.
    For the ‘talent ‘ show, have you considered growing your beard to music and drinking beer while trampolining in front of a (more or less) live studio audience?

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I love it when you weave names of your fellow fictioneers into your stories. Gives them so much personality 🙂

    I watched a BGT clip in which two ancient ladies demonstrated how to knit. Really. Simon sat there with his mouth hanging open for half a tick before he X’d them.

    Nothing wrong with knitting. I love to knit. I just don’t bore anyone else with it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Linda. I do enjoy using Fictioneers in my stories. Some of them are quite funny characters in real life.

      Championship Knitting sounds like a real possibility. Let’s call it Blazing Needles. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve been in the forest of disenchantment for over a year, I know what it’s like. ‘My crisis management is more chaotic than yours’ is the reality show I can recommend (not).

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the lovely photo, Liz. I tried to comment on your post, but don’t know if it worked or not. I have trouble on Blogspot sites.

      Sorry about the dry cracker. You’re supposed to bring your own cheese to this party.

      Like

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Mandie Hines Author

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