Parting the Yellow Sea

For those of us in the United States, yesterday was an important day. Grown men wearing top hats yanked a large rodent from its burrow and proclaimed Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. I wish they’d pick a name that’s easier to pronounce. How about Punxsutawney Neil, or Punxsutawney Linda, or Punxsutawney Sacagawea?

And what’s up with the letters “PH” sounding like an “F?” It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. To prove my point, “H” even teams with “G” sometimes to make an “F” sound, as in EnouGH of this Phoolishness. What are they trying to do, kick “F” out of the alphabet?

Here’s your assignment. In the comments, change any word spelled with an “F” to “PH” or “GH” and words spelled with those letters to an “F.” Here’s an example: Who’s Aphraid ough Virginia Woulgh?

If you’re new to Phriday Phlash Phiction, the Phractured Phreda who runs this program is Fyllis Dilla Wisough-Phields. If you’d like to participate in this exercise in madness, head over to her blog for step-by-step instructions. To view the Ph.Ph.Ph. Hollywood Squares Authors Block click here.

copyright – Trish Nankivell
Three or four of us ten-year-old boys were milling around the bathroom when I discovered that one of the toilets was clogged. If you flushed it, water would surge over the bowl and create a mini tsunami across the floor.
Too bad we didn’t have some toy Egyptians and Hebrews. It would have been a great time to stage a reenactment of Moses parting the Yellow Sea.
A tattletale ratted me out and I was sent to the principal. On my way back to class, visions of Pharaoh and Egyptian chariots flooded my consciousness.
One more flush couldn’t hurt anything.


35 Comments on “Parting the Yellow Sea

  1. Such a temptation ghor a young boy, Russell. They’d better call the caretaker bephore things get out ough hand.

    We have Wiarton Willie up here; but really we’re all waiting to see iph Doug Ghord sees his shadow today, or iph it’s 6 more weeks in lockdown.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Punxsutawney Phlush,

    I knew this particular prompt would be your phorte. Why do I get the pheeling this story is true? Splish Splash and plop plop phizz phizz. Thank you phor making a special appearance. I’m relieved. Oops.


    Fillis Dilla W(T)Ph

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Fyllis Dilla W(T)Ph,

      Glad you enjoyed it. Another title could have been “Phun With F Words.” The story is mostly true and can be phound in “One Idiot Short of a Village” under the title, “The Backside of Learning.”
      I happy you’re relieved and sincerely hope you did so in the bathroom rather than the sofa.

      Give my love to Phang,
      Punxsutawney Phlush


    • What? I thought you’d be phlattered? The rodent is not phat. She’s just ghurry and very cuddly. 🙂
      Not only that, she can predict the weather. How many other rodents can do that?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I had to get help ghrom a ghriend here, Russell.

    AnElefantCant believe he’s invited
    To be involved in all this tomphoolery
    Since time immemorial
    He avoids humour lavatorial
    When each ghlush has an ephghect quite undulary

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My vote is Punxsutawney Sacagawea. I homeschooled my kids (we lived overseas) when they were little and I taught them fonetics. Nightmare!! This letter says this, except when it DOESN’T!! Phrankly, it was ghrustrating and drove me nutty as a phruitcake! I still haven’t phully recovered. (Few, that was phun!)

    For your story, yuck to the yellow sea (haha), but haven’t we all had this happen at one time or another. Love the last line!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very amusing, Russell. It reminded me a phair bit ogh my school days and particualrly the urge that schoolboys have to succumb to. Sometimes, whatever the punishment phreat, phings have to be done.
    Did I get the letters in the right places?

    Liked by 1 person

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